Category: Uncategorized

Public Journal

Not a PUA. Not a Writer.

I’m not really a PUA. I know I use the term generally but to be honest I’m not a PUA. I don’t approach sets during the day, write field reports and try tricks and techniques to attempt to attract women into my love life. Most of the game experiences I’ve had have been on nights out and I simply listen and check out PU products to stay up to date with stuff being circulated. I honestly couldn’t give a damn how many girls I pull on a weekend. I go out to have a good time, and if you want to be a part of it then great but if not, I’m not going to begrudge you and try steal your girls or anything like that. For the most part, I go out for personal entertainment but I’m at a point whereby I’m welcoming the idea of romance and open to meeting potential love interests. They say you shouldn’t qualify or justify yourself for the principle of character but I just have to be clear that I don’t leave my home walking down the street wanting to bang every woman I meet and collect hundreds of phone numbers everyday. I’m not a PUA, I’m an amateur writer.

Being a writer means I can choose a topic and expound my own ideas on it. I can write pretty much anything I want and readers will believe what I write at a moment’s notice. Some readers are more sceptical than others and will question what they read so it’s important that I only write about things I’ve experienced and understand first hand. If I’m writing fiction then it’s important that I make that obvious and if I’m writing non-fiction then it’s important I make that obvious. For my own credibility it serves to be honest and authentic as a writer. I want my readership to keep returning to teach them useful things I’ve learned myself and to have purpose for my writing. Writing can be challenging because not only does it mean articulating ideas and themes into content but it also means I have to be considerate to my readership. Without them then I am only writing for myself, which is originally why I started writing anyway but that’s not the point. The whole PUA thing started years ago when I wanted to somehow sleep with so many women I lost all purpose as to what I actually should be doing with my life. I wouldn’t realistically want to sleep with every woman I meet which would be ridiculous. I just want to sleep with the ones I choose to. That’s the whole point in getting good with women in general and the whole purpose of pick up artistry. What attracted me to the PUA scene was reading field reports because all the favourite writing I consumed came from journals, diaries and such. I always wanted to read about people’s life experiences. So I’m turn I wanted to write about life experiences. Field reports were mostly funny to read, interesting, clever and the dialogue was curiously unpredictable. This was going to be fun. I was going to go out and make field reports. After a few attempts I realised PUA skills were actually difficult to master. I realised I didn’t have much game myself and that I could actually learn this skill set. I stopped writing field reports because I just thought it obvious to always be in field and to experience life first hand. It only makes sense that you learn from those around you.

Going out and having a good night usually means you have some noteworthy moments, you make new connections and you either pull or get close to pulling, you get back to a place with a chick, same night sex or set up a day 2. Obviously you can’t account for all the various possibilities of these but if women are adding you on social media, you got numbers, met a few new people, had positive interactions, maybe a kiss close here and there, then you’re night went pretty well and you could benefit from writing a field report. At least that’s what the purpose of field reports were, and also to extrapolate what worked, where you could improve and so on. The fact that any internet user with enough reference experiences could literally fabricate a successful field report seemed weird to me. They call these guys keyboard jockeys. Some guys just spend all their time on pick up forums and never go out in the field to actually do game. Usually they have the most theories too. It wasn’t until Real Social Dynamics began making shifts in the seduction community away from canned material to Natural game that the whole community changed its mindset about tricks and tactics to real game. David DeAngelo mentioned it in his Mastery program, something about “Once you’ve learned the tricks and techniques you realise that it’s something deeper”. Most guys come to the point of decision with pick up artistry that they want to get this part of their life handled. They want to know how to generate attraction, build rapport, create a connection and really have something meaningful occur between them and a woman they find amazing. At least that’s what I suspected in myself. I wanted to have more choice, more understanding and to be able to connect better with potential romantic interests. It only goes to say that hours and hours of failed communication brings you to the genesis of understanding that the mistakes are what build up your character and that by character your identity resides. It becomes a lot easier to make sense of things if you write them down and articulate your ideas, learnings, understandings and so on. That’s the whole point of a true field report. So ultimately it is useful to be honest in your writing instead of fabricating things, and you can do whatever you want to do when you write but if you’re trying to improve a skill set, then it should be treated as a science: hypothesis, experiment, conclusion. (As an elementary formula.). This way your writing helps you and this is exactly how writing can help you in more aspects in life than just getting laid. I guess in this sense, I’m not a PUA. I’m not a Writer. It’s basically social science in a practical format. I’m not a PUA. I’m not a Writer.

Public Journal

Deservingness Issues.

A lot of what you go through in experience with the opposite sex comes down to deservingness issues. Do you deserve what you’re attracting? Are you attracting the right things? What is it that you want from your dating life? Now I can’t remember the whole details of the field report from years ago when I nearly had a threesome with two girls. It’s happened twice in fact. Once when two girls and I were in a car and one of them was sexually escalating and the other was supportive of the fact but I somehow was not taking on both of them due to deservingness issues on my own behalf. Another time I was making out with two girls in turn, it wasn’t a three way kiss, just taking turns. Well I ended up digitally stimulating them both at the same time sand that was probably the closest I got to a threesome with two women. Years ago I ended up having a threesome with me, an older (cougar) woman and a best friend. He was banging her doggystyle and I was getting oral sex from her at the same time. This was my first threesome experience with another guy. It’s funny but most men tend to measure each other’s masculinity by their sexual experiences. If I told you I used to try to pick up strippers then you’d probably laugh but I’ve tried on numerous occasions with several different outcomes. Unfortunately I’ve never slept with a stripper. I have slept with a book author, a Miss Central Malaysia and my own boss. Sometimes I believe these Casanova choices are deemed as much more important than quantity. Quality over quantity. The quality of my pick ups have been for high status women rather than numbers of women. The women were of high status and not just any attractive young thing. My ex girlfriend was 16 years my senior. She paid for holidays and meals, nights out and so on. I always screen for quality in the women I pursue. I have very high standards. I know that money doesn’t matter too much because some women are far more abundant in success and wealth than me. I screen for quality of relationships. Does this woman have what it takes to be passionate? Is she looking for love, romance, respect, or just a fling and some fun time? If I was a gigolo would she pay me for my services? Can I make this woman feel like the most special, beautiful and precious woman on the planet while keeping my dignity and hers?

Sometimes it takes life experiences to allow yourself to learn more about your true nature. Would I like to experience a threesome with two beautiful young attractive women? Of course, it’s probably one of the biggest Male fantasies of our times. Have I nearly experienced it? Yes, twice nearly experiences it. What I would ideally enjoy the most is to experience women in abundance and I think the content of those experiences must be positive and enjoyable. I’m not a big fan of histrionics, drama and dysfunctional behaviour even though I’m not naive enough to know it doesn’t exist. The resistance I experience with women is largely invested in my own boundary function. I ask myself; am I willing and allowing myself to meet new potential romantic interests? If not, why not? What’s holding me back? Am I allowing women into my life or cockblocking myself? Do I want to meet new women? Am I open to the idea of meeting and attracting new women into my life? It only makes sense that one has to allow these things into their life. A deservingness factor, to allow yourself to deserve the opportunities that are arising into your life, to be deserving of the majickal and rewarding nature of life and love into one’s life. Open to abundance. Open to positivity. Open to love. And love comes in all shapes and sizes.

I’m not trying to show my prowess with this post. As a reminder it brings about the realisation that it’s possible to have threesomes with beautiful young attractive women. It happens. A lot more naturally if there is plausible deniability for the act unless living in liberal political climates. For example, polyamory is far more widespread in the US where sharing partners is more acceptable under certain conditions. Britain being quite the conservative country tends to frown on people who exhibit sexual variety and novelty. It does exist though. It takes half an hour looking at candy in Blackpool to realise that the British love cock. I don’t mean to be blunt, I’m just stating the obvious. We usually see some drunken out of shape women on a hen do with huge blow up willies bigger than their leg. Schoolchildren in Britain are almost famed for drawing dicks in their homework diaries. Sex is a huge part of western culture. And westerners are more liberal with their attitudes about sex. The porn industry which is a multi billion dollar money making machine is a constant talking point and attractive feature of the internet to many lonesome desperate men and women. Last I heard was PornHub are paying amateur homemade video submissions. That’s right. You can masturbate on camera, send it to PornHub and get paid for your ‘hazard work’. I met Johnny Soporno on Facebook. He is well known to the American porn industry and I bantered with him on a photo of him with Porn Starlet Vandal Vyxen. I don’t really know much about porn but Johnny had a free video series and some other educational material for pick up artists which I tried to consume. The whole main teaching was to “liberate women of their sexuality and the mindsets surrounding women’s sexuality”. I thought it was a noble and worthwhile investment of time. If that was the only thing I took from that video series then I believe I’ve learned the most important tenet of the correct mindset and temperament to take around women. You see the disconnect happens when you feel you don’t deserve what you’re being given. Women deserve a lot more liberation than they’ve experienced in the past. The way that you feel you don’t deserve women is the way women feel constrained and held back from the sexuality they wish to express to you. The liberation lies in knowing you deserve it. You are deserving. Claim your deservingness now.

Public Journal

A Quick Idea for Writing as a Part-Time PUA.

The pick up community has been through many and various technical and abstract developments over the years and the reason for this is a sociologists problem. The fact of the matter is that when pick up started it was all about the geeks, the lost boys, men who were left behind by their communities and became a force to improve both mens and the lives of the women involved. There are not female PUA instructors for no good reason. There are not highly intelligent and very successful businessmen who came from the world of pick up for simple unmeasurable reasons. That being said, proof that learning game makes creepy guys less creepy is a good starting point for getting into pick up. If you are not learning pick up as a man then you are missing out on some of the most socially high value non social pressure content around the globe. The importance of the integrity elements you learn through first-hand experience culminate into a lifestyle realisation and a freshly thought of individualism and interdependence from dogma of mainstream media which is also a ‘selling point’. This gives for great reason a sense of abundance that comes as a byproduct of making approaches in bars and nightclubs, getting rejected, because you will get rejected if you’re meeting enough women to learn a skillset that is unique to your personality and dynamic human way communicating to others. We are not carbon copies of each other, we are not zombies or robots. “Most people walk through life in a walking daze.” – RSD Owen ‘Tyler’ Cook.

It goes without say that if you are not doing something positive with your time you need to think of things worthwhile and earnest to others. Solipsism is a real problem in our society because people actually believe they are alone and surround themselves with reasons as to why they can’t do things even with limitations that hold them back and they listen to the crab bucket mentality of going back three steps when instead take two steps forward and one step back. Go through full throttle and plow through resistance to a point of endeavouring your own word and integrity as a man regardless of others. You should always strive to seek the correct input and to embrace your own output as a creative outlet to socialise, teach what you know to those less fortunate and to aim for abundance.

I’ve had a lot of sabotage from the people in my life in the past, accusations and aggressiveness uncalled for, improper fraternisation from peer groups, but none of that matters because I always had an internal locus of control and kept my integrity increasing. I learned a lot of life lessons a long time ago before people thought I had and the problems that arose from not knowing how to communicate my preferences and boundary function properly, through assertive compassion became the biggest and longest duration of sabotage I went through. If I’d have known how to authentically communicate how I felt about some of the things people said to me with a loss of respect for the human within then I wouldn’t have gone through so much (in some other cases prolly not too bad) hardships. There had to be an atonement. You will realise that there comes a point in your development in life that you find that a lot of what you go through is supposed to awaken you to a new kind of understanding of the world so you can take responsibility for your own life and your loved ones. What are your family values like? What are your romantic values like? What is your relationship to wealth? Is money something you’re using to ‘signal’ to potential romantic interests or a tool to take responsibility? These are important factors to becoming a parent, a lover, a masculine and vulnerable man. There has to be a balance and socialised wisdom within every dynamic of the process. You HAVE to take responsibility.

I always wanted to write since my teens. What I valued the most was the stories others had about life experiences and about the things that could be called wisdom or enlightenment from the perspective of a student posture. Even though I’ve never really gotten to write much while having the social diversity and obstacles encountered through young adult life I realised there are a lot more people going through problematic life area experiences than myself and that I could possibly help others through some form of guidance by using my intelligence constructively. The paradigm here is that intelligence is increased through contributing to society as a whole. If you constrict your possibility of helping others you will lack reward and lack of a contribution results in a scarcity effect which is unlikable, unwanted, unmerited and useless. You have to go the other way and improve, evolve and add positivity to the world no matter where you’re coming from. You have to teach to learn how to adapt and mature into somebody who is of high value. The work you put into your own suffering doesn’t go unnoticed, you will have to at some point contribute lessons learned to the good of society.

Pick up is exactly the process of scientifically setting hypotheses and extrapolating conclusions. You will never be comfortable until the realisation of wanting to allow others happiness into their lives to become a stable part of communicating effectively.. What does good communication come down to? Writing. Speaking. Listening. Non Verbal Communication. Paralanguage. Mature Boundary Function. Building Rapport. Breaking Rapport. Intimacy. Cooperation. Self-respect. Self Esteem. Teaching. Learning new subjects. Teaching what you learn and learning from what you teach. A great book for this mindset is Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton for the sole reason that you learn how to be honest upfront about subjects that matter most to you which allows you to meet the right people to learn from in the real world instead of from television, movies, junk resources. You have to learn to take two steps forward and one step back with the aim of personal growth, personal fulfilment, rapport and development of relationships with the people who matter most to you without creating hatred towards others but a non-division of mutual respect. Taking advantage of the vulnerable equates to a bullying dynamic which creates a chemical imbalance in your psychological neurological chemistry. This leads to mental decline, regression, degenerative disease, problems with mental faculties and inability to produce decent relationships in the future without having repented or metamorphosis the loser in self into the responsible winner in self. This is the mental dynamic of being unable to communicate effectively and taking an introverts posture while unabashedly delivering value to the world. It’s like being invisible, it is a disease of solipsism that rots the putrefaction that is known as ‘sin’. It is a misinterpretation of the world as a whole. You need to be compassionate to yourself and to others. We all suffer from moments of anxiety, depression, mental reversal and unhappiness due to not knowing that there are other parts of society that become effected by what psychologists would refer to as The Johari Window. This basically and fundamentally states that even though you think you know so much about a topic (whatever that may be) that there is something you know but are incompetent with, something you know and ARE competent with, something you don’t know that you are competent with and something you don’t know and are incompetent with. It simply makes sense that there is no reason to claim you know everything, we are all valuable creatures and have something we can teach to each other to make the world a more positively useful and rewarding place to live in, because at some point, and futurism is headed in this direction, the World could possibly be devastated beyond existence if we are not prudent and caring about it.

So what does all this have in correlation to writing pick up? Well, if you hate pick up and complain about it, what are you actually achieving? You’re probably just pissing off a whole community of men attempting to improve their lives and live more responsible and rewarding lives. You don’t get something for free without consequences “Despise the free lunch” (Robert Greene). Truisms are all well and good for the portion of time you feel sociable but when it comes to work (and writing is work) then you must develop a sense of contributing positive and helpful messages to your audience. If you are a pick up artist then you must consider first your fanbase and provide something they need from their level of rapport that allows you to add value to your readerships lives, essentially to improve their lifestyle and teach them the importance of life lessons, integrity, interdependence, self-esteem, mature boundary function, usefulness and power and real life skills. I never knew how to get in a bar or club without feeling self-conscious. I can now walk in a bar, ask to use a restroom without fear of rejection and be granted the request. I can walk into a bar, get a drink or few if I want, make decisions based on my level of safety, make decisions in the present moment to communicate effectively, teach others life lessons counterintuitively, socially, without a care in the world as to the outcome while adding value to others life. I do this because I can. I write about what I acre about because I can. An alpha male does what he likes. We are all alpha males in our level of domain. Never feel unworthy of what the world has to offer, work your ass off at making life improvements. Write about it, the world is evolving. Don’t get left behind. Work at it. Go chat. This is real attraction. Attraction is mutual.

Public Journal

Assertiveness, My New Job, Boundary Function.

I began my new job a couple of weeks back. I’ve never worked in a Chinese Kitchen before, always been domesticated when it comes to kitchen affairs. I’ve done a few shifts so far because it’s part-time at the moment and only easing me back into employment, is what I was informed. So far I’ve noticed that the restaurant kitchen is a very busy place to work, especially on weekends when it is at it’s busiest. Obviously more people have free time at the weekends to go out to eat at a decent and enjoyable restaurant. Anyway, enough about my work life.

I’m persistently making slow progress at the moment after crawling from a dark place. I found I treated it completely terribly because even with the help I’ve had over the years, from mental health professionals, and friends being unsupportive, I noticed everything was being interpreted as though they were all enablers. The discussions I had with my CPN at the time and the Mental Health Supported Housing (Stonham) really helped me focus on my goals at the time and that’s when I finished my degree. All this time I’ve noted that I’ve had so much support over the years where people were acting like enablers rather than giving me skills. It became quite confusing when I was suddenly dropped by all the support, my mum thought that because I had moved out, that was the end of her problems and somehow I’d be fine.

Unfortunately the ‘natural alpha’ I befriended for years was a very poor example of a decent person. Moving forward, I think we both took what we needed from each other as best friends (bros4lyfe) because I’ve learned a little about Shadow aspects from Jungian psychology which helped me make sense of why I kept acting impulsively. If anything the way I’ve evolved has become opposite of being stifled in the sense that I’m more liberated to determine my own choices and become more assertive in character, taking hints from my friends, ‘aggressiveness’. If you think about aggressiveness as being one-sided, assertiveness is like a neutral win-win situation type of communication-based in positive aggressiveness, there is a compromise yet both parties involved are respected equally. I have to come to terms with the fact that my sense of humour has been on a rollercoaster throughout my life and that I definitely have to tone it down when talking to kids. I sometimes swear like a sailor too so having to readjust to children is imperative as a personal responsibility. They don’t put age rating certification on movies for no good of reason. Online I’m a troll to some degree, plausibly within current restrictions and I’ve not gone into a business so I don’t claim copyright to anything other than my own photography when possible. I believe in fair and just treatment like most decent people.

The way I see the reason behind why I took up work, and wanted to work in a restaurant part-time, is because I’ve taken ‘a path less travelled’. I spent years in education, claiming benefits with mental illness (an affective disorder) and through treatment, support, energy, effort and engagement spent on investing in myself, educating myself about important topics regarding my life and lifestyle (I was getting a schooling from my peer group), eventually began making moves to employment, which is one of the key reasons I wanted to take my own life back when I first started self-harming over a decade ago. I still have work to do but I no longer feel I need to fight the system so much for and with constant shunning to attempt to get the counsel I need for mental HEALTH. This is my boundary function in order, being put into practice. It will take time and effort to change and adapt but at least the intention is there. “I’m not getting any younger.”

Public Journal

Going Natural.

I respect the fact that Real Social Dynamics went natural with the Pick Up Artistry thing like approximately fifteen years ago. I personally studied some of Double Your Dating products and in Mastery there is a useful Five Step Formula for success. I’d have to revise it to quote it though (my retention isn’t the best due to all the stuff and variety of material). I like to remember that it is imperative that one learns from the best before they innovate which is the last step.

Because I’ve never really had much success with women I find that I like to plug in to various much more well known names in the pick up industry to learn about more appropriate ways of approaching dating and romantic interests which in my eyes should be a positive experience and also to leave a person better off than you found them. For example, if a woman acts bitchy or catty with me, I tend to do that back in response. I break rapport at the moment I sense her rapport dropping. Most of my game is rapport based yet breaking rapport I learned from Richard ‘Gambler’ La Ruina from PUATraining.com, a London based author, video game author and long time pick up artist. I also studied a few Speed Seduction products which I forever like to boast about even though I don’t personally use patterns. I don’t mind using tried and tested openers as long as I find them plausible because I’ve experienced myself but most of the time I just base my verbal game on free association.

I respect female pick up artists (coaches) too, namely Kezia Noble, Hayley Quinn and The Wong Girl Method. I think they have solid perspectives on the dating mistakes and what works with women in dating and romance. Hypnosis stuff is a bit weird, I used it for inner game purposes but ultimately I don’t think I’d ever get away with trying to hypnotise someone unless they were submissive and fully trusting of me. Breaking rapport makes it difficult to influence people because ultimately the rapport is reduced and that’s when a person begins thinking about leaving an interaction. I studied a year of GCSE Communication Studies when I was eighteen years old which is respectively why I find interest in pick up.

In the community especially reading things I could get for free I digested segments of materials and books which I thought I needed for whatever sticking points I had at the time until I discovered “Tyler” of RSD who constantly preached that everything self fixes if you just go out a lot. So I set my heart on befriending a natural alpha bad boy and enjoyed our friendship for many years until we got tired of each other’s bullshit. I picked up both good and bad habits, could never seem to internally agree with a lot of things he said and did, I just wanted to be his friend and by the time he had gotten a good job opportunity we went our separate ways. “RSDTyler” and the Real Social Dynamics Crew are constantly putting out free videos to help guys out and I’ve always loved that. I’ve bought different products, joined and left various Facebook groups, connected virtually to instructors of all kinds of knowledge bases, I went through a Vince Kelvin student phase, an Arash Dibazar student phase all because I was getting frustrated with my results. But mostly the important thing is I was having way more fun taking advice from RSD YouTube videos and then just going out in the field and making a fool of myself.

Public Journal

Screening Game

Something I learned about when I first got into pick up was screening game. I can’t remember the source it could’ve been mASF or some other forum that was promoting the community.

What is screening game you may ask? Personally I found it to be the least intrusive approach to dating and romance. Basically most women screen guys out for value indicators, they either disqualify you, test you then disqualify you or they are attracted to your value indicators; appearance, health, wealth, social/relationship skills and so on.

When I learned about screening game I discovered Tony Clink’s Layguide which can be found online (or was the last time I checked) but I bought the paperback. It had loads of different types of game pointers from various authors. I tried Speed Seduction for practise once and got an immense emotional response which was thwarted by my brother getting angry and defending her boyfriend which to be honest is thought SpeedSeduction a scam at the time. The idea that women responded to words was beyond belief.

I read about Grandmaster game which is basically turning things very sexual early on and calibrating off the responses which in today’s political climate would be offensive to many. But I learned about screening as a guy. Does this girl have the value indicators that I’m seeking in a romantic interest? Besides looks and superficialities is there something more interesting about this girl? Would I want to spend more time with this person based on her intelligence? Her physical attributes? Her working profession? Heck if she was a prostitute would I spend money on intimate time with her? What is the nature of our current social/relationship/friendship at this point in time? I mean if these questions can’t be answered honestly then I’d have to opt out of even attempting to seduce her and get blown out, crash and burn the set, seek the rejection and bail.

Screening for me is based on my own level of attraction value indicators. I seek women out to find out what I admire the most in them and then I screen women out for those attributes/qualities and values. Many times I’ve thought I was attracted to a certain behaviour or quality to realise that the girl I was interested in was either putting up a front, seeking rapport or validation, or downright didn’t have any inclination of those qualities. And I’d even attempt to help grow with a partnership either that be a friendship or relationship of non commitment to allow a woman or women to become more adaptable in their approach to dating/romantic attraction. I’m not the best looking guy but I’ve had standards and boundaries of my own which I’ve dealt with gracefully due to a good family upbringing and because I value people’s personal boundaries. When a woman tries to string me along then I already know she is interested. Women only test guys they’re interested in. They are also screening. They meet many men several times a day who placate to their needs, putting them on pedestals and genuinely being as nice as they can be with them. And if they are screening and doing this because it makes the girl disqualify them to save time and effort. Then that is understandable. But if they are doing it because they want to be favoured as a romantic partner then they are trying way too hard for the types of girl I’m talking about.

So basically the way I approach game is I test women instead of them testing me. Of course there should be a compromise between the romantic interests because if not then the mutual component doesn’t exist. It makes sense that the parties involved in the escalation of romance have a mutual understanding otherwise they inevitably (generally one before the other) drops interest in some manner and they both part ways. In this case the Seduction was unsuccessful. Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want you for wanting them?

Public Journal

Jeffy’s Nine Ball Review.

So I listened to RSD Jeffy’s Nine Ball the other week. The evolution he went through while becoming a better person and learning through life while “Getting laid or die trying” is an adventure worth listening to for sure. Besides the threatening life choices Jeffy went through and the drama ridden angst he experienced I believe he’s a good example for all people who have gone through similar experiences with regards to feeling angry while going through their early adulthood. I don’t want to judge his character though.

To someone who has never experienced the kind of sexual encounters Jeffy has I feel like a bystander of what is actually available out there as someone who has had little to no success with women for most of my prime. I feel inadequate and out of place listening to Nine Ball yet Jeffy’s sense of humour kept me entertained throughout the entire audiobook. Most enjoyable was the happiness I experienced for his life changes when becoming involved with RSD. Nine Ball, brilliantly written, very funny, definitely exciting and interesting.