Attraction is straightforward. A lot of guys mistakenly believe that attraction is a complicated and pot luck kind of happenstance that foolishly occurs with certain requirements set by the females logical mind. Jackpot!! This is a reactive mindset that doesn’t serve for seduction and is actually a beta Male behaviour. Attraction happens in seconds, it is observable and natural, it is something that happens without factoring in complete logic, it is usually emotion based and personality based attraction exists in that it exceeds the expectations of the genetically good looking beta males who don’t know what they’re doing with women and believe me, the majority of them rely solely on their physique for attraction. I’m not necessarily great looking, in fact, my looks have gone worse over the years, I’m slightly pudgy around my waist, kind of skinny fat because I have a high metabolism but ate like a pig for a decade. I used to drink, smoke, do street drugs, mostly from reliable sources, I’ve seen friends overdose, I’ve puked blood, been flat ass broke out of pocket, sold things to fund my nightlife, traded my soul to the devil for strength and thought of suicide several times; never fully mistakenly claiming the lord of darkness as my master. I’ve been in a few terrible situations thanks to living in a small town of 30,000 population approximately with increasingly evolving and law abiding citizens who care more about well being than consuming handfuls of mushrooms. It is however, unattractive to the pessimists to predict that drugs, intoxication and unhealthy habits be enjoyed by masses of degenerates in this town. Strangely enough a lot of young men pride themselves on their keen abilities to break the law uncaptured, evading consequences and creating their own adventures in life, which following masses of school girls, college girls and generically popular women actually do find attractive. Uncultured as this may seem, I’m not fabricating any of it. Give these guys a few hundred Great British Sterling and the first things that they think of involve buying unconsumable amounts of narcotics and selling them to their circle of influence. I’ve slowly distanced myself from the whole charade in order to regain some kind of form of sanity after ending up in alcohol rehabilitation and drug counselling along with mental health services and nearly relapsing. I’d rather have a bad haircut than insufflate 3 grams of cocaine mixed with God knows what the dealer blended it with. Of course, most of the drugs are party drugs, street drugs in the UK tend to survive beyond the perimeters of justice due to the nature of nightlife and raves. Repetitive loud music that goes on for hours while punters monkey around chatting rubbish and dancing into the dawn. From dusk til dawn like some caricatured rendition of Trainspotting and Pulp Fiction for irresponsible adults.
I had to depart from that whole nightlife scene before I got too deep into using drugs and my GP had told me the alcohol was no good for my blood pressure. I’m in the second half of my thirties, I can walk into a local bar almost black out drunk and kiss a girl nearly half my age quite effortlessly. Usually it’s a badass bitch from some popular network of influence among her circle of friends. I kind of understand Attraction to some degree. I’ve practised for years going out, making blunders, crashing and burning sets for reference experiences, going out alone, going out with guys better or worse than me, I’ve tried numerous pick up tactics, even canned lines, even threw everything out the window and embraced natural game for the posterity of being myself. One thing I know for certain is Attraction happens unpredictably until you figure out your preferences, what you like or dislike. This gives you clues as to what you need to do to require game. You must build reference experiences until you know exactly what you like or don’t like. Be good with women in general before you settle down. That’s been the motto I’ve stuck with for over a decade.
As BlackDragon, Caleb Jones says, there is guy drama and girl drama. They both exists, they are usually unattractive because the intensity explodes into behaviours that are unwarranted, there is a lack of self-control and temperance on behalf of the individuals involved which is usually a precursor to relationship breakdown in couples therapy and often the signalling that a person needs space to think things through to the requirement of applied intelligence may be evoked. I remember being in a short fling with an Asian woman and she lost her temper, threw her phone at the wall smashing it into a million pieces. I remained unreactive and calm. She then started to throw a tantrum and began attacking me, I restrained her by bear hugging her and she began to cry and then romantically kiss me. Girl drama. Guy drama is just as toxic and sometimes more convenient to cause problems. How many times do you see frustrated and psychopathic men in the news? Such instances demonstrate that men’s temper control requires strict discipline under monitoring of clinical observation if they are to heal from the aggression they put into the world. Hostage takers, terrorists, criminals, that isn’t to say women aren’t as bad because some of them are yet men have a higher frequency and potentiality to become toxic under pressure. Being toxic sometimes creates the wrong kind of attraction and this is why it persists. However, Attraction is rarely developed to be anything decent unless proper education and quality of respectful communication for self-esteem and win-win interactions are present.
For the most part Attraction is apparently illogical and understood by only a percentage of society. In today’s climate a lot of people are turning to fitness because let’s face it, attractive physiques are attractive, there is no denying that health indicators are attractive. Other health indicators are mentioned in Geoffrey Miller’s book The Mating Mind. Besides signalling behaviours the indications of a healthy creative brain substitute a large amount of attractiveness in males. Large plumage on peacocks attract female peahens for sexual behavioural cues and in humans this is what signalling entails. Signalling in humans though can sometimes be fabricated and mismanaged communicating the wrong things to potential mates and therefore this is why we see strangely dressed unattractive people on shows like Jerry Springer or Jeremy Kyle. Other signalling which is misunderstood may be health cues such as young men taking large quantities of alcohol consumption competitively so to the point that females find their ability attractive although within a decade their health may have deteriorated significantly no longer presenting them as healthy individuals. Other signalling occurs through competitive behaviour which may or may not be considered healthy in duration; eating competitions, dangerous and extreme sports, hunting, racing, and so on. Many men compete for the consideration of the masses at the risk of their life or health in order to gain attributable ‘labels’ about their bravery or prowess and it is all related to dating and attraction. This is the human version of the peacocks colourful feathers. However, competitiveness also exists in the realm of the mind and academics is a huge part of well-to-do social acclimatisation and manoeuvring into higher social standards among the wealthier classes that enables members to move more freely throughout life due to access to resources and ability to influence outcomes. There is a significant benefit to individuals who go through formal education and this is why a lot of haters arise out of dislike for formal education which is always providing proper and factual based education to the masses. Children with necessary education levels do far better in life than those with educational obstacles and this should not be dismissed. Other factors that healthy individuals may negotiate in dating and attraction are beauty and longevity. People who stay attractive for longer spans of time are considered among many to have good genetics, attributed to good healthy lifestyles and beneficial diets too. They say a symmetrical appearing face is more attractive than a non symmetrical appearing facial features and this also is attributable to good healthy genetics. Little possibilities of factors such as these are scientifically reliable indicators of good health for instance body mass index, bodily odours, oral hygiene, youthful features, good mood and emotional health, all contribute to overall attraction. Besides getting into details Attraction is mostly based in personality triggered communication. Behavioural cues that members of the opposite sex naturally and subconsciously find attractive such as fitness indicators in our current example, intelligence, emotional relativity, productiveness and utility are all accountable to split second decision making on level of attractiveness in a mating partner. Will this person make a good parental figure? Will this person contribute to my tribe? Will this person be around long enough to look after our children if we have children? Can this person provide survival value and social value to allow us to live effortlessly and with longevity? These kinds of questions arise when distinguishing attractive characteristics logically but most of the time these questions happen beyond conscious decision making in an instance of romance.