This year I’ve focused hard on social media and my communication. Majority of my time was spent on Facebook which is how I met new people and attempted poorly albeit to make new friends, possible romantic interests and to figure out the fundamental workings of communication online. Granted almost everything is taken literally and people get reactive about certain topics and so on.
The girl I met who turned out to be a lesbian whom I crushed on was probably the only person who reached out to me to help me during this whole year of spiralling out of control and deep into depression. Positively we made a quick acquaintance and found some things easily matched to get to some kind of rapport. Unfortunately my beta side arose, leading me into oneitis and finding her to be an ideal candidate for a romantic interest.
She had already told me she was in a romantic relationship and unboundedly I sought to pursue the rejection by supplicating to her and by acting like a thirsty teenager. She eventually called me out on taking too much interest in her in which I basically threw myself at her. All of this I did through typed communication. Text messages, WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger until she proceeded to block me. I thought I should stop trying to contact her once she told me to ‘piss off’.
Unfortunately she made it clear that I’ve lost out on my opportunity to become friends with her. I could’ve become friends with her but notice how like most of my friendships in life dwindle beyond repair for some unknown reason to me. Since I finished my degree at Uni two years ago I’ve isolated in my home using informational resources to keep myself preoccupied with leisure being restricted to video games, music, occasional movies, and drinking heavily, alone. The peace I encountered during the first six months was welcomed by increase in productivity but has fallen into insanity over the past 18 months. This year I have questioned my sanity several times, accepted that I’m actually insane several times, fought against unseen forces and generally deluded myself beyond any scope of this loneliness and isolation being useful.
Every opportunity I’ve had to get in touch with old friends, meet new friends has always been thwarted by an undesirable rejection and ignorance. I have become lonely as a man in his thirties. I don’t like what has happened to me but I’m at social life ground zero and seem to be acting more self-destructive than many people are capable of finding as not distressing to them. People love a train-wreck. At the moment I’m a train wreck. The idea of Restraining The Octopus has arose through the two females I met this year which became fleeting disorganised flirtatious and needy relationships that made me feel useless as a man, frustrated with myself and the world. To restrain the Octopus is to restrain the neediness. It’s just a metaphorical headline.
Neediness is a certainty to fail during Attraction phases, codependency spells the end to many a successful relationships. If you reek of desperation then you will be avoided by the potential romantic interest at some point. Somewhat better termed than “Playing hard to get” is the term “Active Disinterest”. You need to be able to create sexual tension, Attraction, mutual understanding, partnership conspiracy yet maintain an aloof “Heck, I want it but don’t need it” mindset. The mentality is to create value enough to spark attraction but not put yourself out there that you seem try hard or could be misconstrued as being needy. This is something I’ve struggled with because I’ve always had a cooperative frame in my interactions with others. This makes it difficult for me to pursue women because they think I’m trusting to put them on a pedestal. If I was better looking I could get away with it. Good looking guys get away with more slip ups than average looking guys.
Mystery wrote about cat string theory and says women are like cats chasing a string but you keep pulling it away. The Octopus is the opposite of the cat string, could be better said it is like the whole ball of string given to the cat and the cat gets fed up because it’s not getting enough attention. Restraining the Octopus them is to reduce the neediness in your frame with women. You need to keep your communication at a level where you add enough value for her to respond but take away as much of your attention to her that she chases you. By giving her the string and pulling it away she feels teased and women love being teased. It’s a Red Pill motto to “Do Not Lean In” and this goes deep into communication not just physical proximity. If you like a woman you need to approach her. If you begin throwing yourself at her, putting her on a pedestal and supplicating to her every need (emotional/physical) then she will feel another like the Octopus feeds on its prey. Learn to restrain the Octopus. It will serve your attraction skills. Also learn Mystery’s cat string theory.