I never wanted to be a pick up artist when I first got interested in pick up. I wanted to win back the affection of the woman I most cherished and the best advice I got was to “learn how to be good with women in general”. Unfortunately I’ve always felt inadequate in social situations, being shy as a boy and having social anxiety as an adult. After I got over my “a decade a long ago” break up from my last long term relationship, I wanted to desensitise myself to bars and clubs, to be able to improve my confidence. I’ve realised that this attachment to “wanting and having a need to be confident” is actually self-destructive if you just forget about confidence and concentrate on being a sociable guy. Being sociable has many counter benefits, having a huge social circle is not what I mean, but a valuable and rewarding social circle. Instead of concentrating on “being confident” try to be of value and sociable. This was the modus operandi I took for a whole decade. I’ve met and forgotten a lot of people. Mingled in different situations with absurd and outrageous behaviour, I went out a lot to say I’m an introverted extrovert. I like my alone time but I like socialising too.
Having interest in pick up and being honest about it with people in my life has created a dynamic of alienisation from social in-groups. For some reason women don’t like guys who learn to be more attractive and guys don’t like guys who are interested in women. You get a lot of guys acting the white knight to put you in your place for trying to attract and date women they know. The thing is I only go out with no expectations and I’m not particularly looking to get a same night lay. Most guys just assume that if you’re into pick up that you’re trying to get ass. They will cock block you and try to cuck you for some weird unknown reason. It’s better to just not focus on the guys. Some pick up instructors teach AMOG tactics (Alpha Male Of the Group) whereby they teach you how to deal with Male dating obstacles and female cock blocks. If you’re going out with the intention of “I’m going out to meet new people and have a good time” then you shouldn’t worry too much about other guys and cock blocks. You wouldn’t want to get to know those people anyway. Dealing with obstacles has been a huge weakness of my own in possible flirtatious encounters. They say you don’t get cock blocked or AMOGged unless they see you as a sexual threat. Sexual threat in this regard means that a female perceives you as sexually challenging and attractive. I don’t know how true that statement is but I tend to get cock blocked and AMOGged constantly in sets. I just tend to ignore it however blatant it may be although this defeats the object somewhat.
Being interested in pick up has many other benefits besides getting good with women and dating. Being intertwined with self-improvement it inspired me to make use of inspirational, informational resources from things like business, psychology, NLP, evolution, strategy, writing, and helped me focus on my pursuits in photography which I worked hard on for years while living a busy social life. I worked on my photography enough to be able to finish my Bachelors Degree, something I spent most of my youth fucking up due to social life. There’s a program by RSD Luke called Social Circle Blueprint and Social Circle Blueprint 2.0 and the sales page gives an outline that “If you have a high quality social life you will be successful with women and dating”. I thought about this and my most successful dating years happened when I had my life together, when I was going for my goals and when I was ‘popular’ with a large friend base. However, life as it is now paints a dreadfully lonely and depressed quickly approaching middle-age dead beat with nothing going for him besides his blog. It’s saddening reality and hopefully I will meet new worthwhile friends but I’m a loner these days for sure. For the previous decade my sole objective was to be useful, friendly and outgoing. It has gotten me nowhere in my social life.