Public Journal

A Primer – Journaling For The Intelligent Man.

A Primer – Journaling For The Intelligent Man.

The following was originally a document I set out to write an e-book while considering techniques for journaling and yet I had rationalised that I could no longer put any more work into it to bring it to fruition. It is a long post for a blog but I didn’t want to continue writing about journaling because I thought it better to just quickly get the information out there so others could benefit from it.Please visit my blog for the best viewing of this Primer: find a lot of guys just go about life aimlessly when it comes to planning and introspection and one of the almost immediate tools we can turn to for self-actualization is keeping a journal.I’ve left the document in a kind of draft layout and have used minimal editing other than deleting the horrific notes I made so without further ado:Become Your Own Hero: A Quick Guide to Journaling for the Intelligent Man.Preface.Much can be said about Journaling and there are some great books on how to journal. This guide is supposed to introduce some advice for journalling especially for the Intelligent Man.First of all, every Intelligent Man Journals.Secondly, everyone’s journal is unique to that person.Finally, the more you put into your journal, the more you will get from it. This guide is about getting more from your journaling.We’re going to look at some useful journaling tips and learn how to journal effectively to get the most from it as a tool of personal development.Introduction.In this guide you will find advice on what to journal about, how to make best use of your journal, the best time to journal, what a journal can be used for, how to write field reports, how to budget, and how to use your journal for organising your thoughts as well as improve your writing.As an Intelligent Man, you will go through life learning from life experiences. In order to really get the most from your life experiences, you should and will, benefit from a journaling habit either now or in the future.For the most part of history’s greatest innovations, Intelligent Men left behind an immense amount of knowledge that was passed down through the generations not only by word of mouth but by writing. Writing is one of the most fundamental productive skills an Intelligent Man can possess especially in the digital age. It is of the utmost importance and a prerogative that you have an imperative to become as most literate a person as you may become, and with the internet, nothing is holding you back.By creating a regular journaling habit will you not only get an insight into your own life, but you will learn to love your journals, you will become a better person (whatever that might be) and you will be able to remember and reflect on all of your greatest and worst moments. This is a personal journey. You will also be able to pass on the information to your younger generations if you so choose and you will become a more productive person in the process. Being literate in the modern-day hosts a whole branch of opportunities for Intelligent Men.Journaling actually has no rules. You can potentially write plots to kill and hunt down Jaguars in the Amazon Rainforest or design a new curriculum for your martial arts club, the choice is yours. The freedoms that are inherent in journaling comes from both life experiences and your imagination. The imagination can be limitless, versatile and ingenious at the most creative end of the spectrum or it can hold you back from your true potential. With a journaling habit, you will teach yourself how to channel your imaginative capabilities and in the process become an Intelligent Man.Just as you would’ve had to write in school, and sometimes maybe against your own wishes, journaling is different. Journaling can be done as often, or as little as you so choose. You make up the rules as to when and how much you want to write. The freedom of journaling is a most essential, part of journaling. You may already own a journal and wish to get more from your journal and this quick guide will help you with that but the key to journaling is to have fun with it. That’s what this guide is about.Journaling in the information age is the most important fundamental skill to obtain. Bold statement but I truly believe this as a principle. Being literate in our modern digital era and the information age is in fact, an important and mandatory skill. More than ever, being eloquent in writing is the number one skill to obtain which you can improve by journaling.I won’t go into a rant about academics being a bad thing as I’m not biased that way. In fact, academia is one of the main reasons our humanity has made it into the modern world with the things we take for granted. I do fully believe that academic education is important in our modern day lives especially during our youth, however, academic education is not enough. It takes self-discipline and productive inertia to become a great writer and a fundamental skill we learn when we journal is writing.Journaling is something that can be done in your own time. You need not feel pressured or guilty for journaling often and not getting round to doing any journaling. To a given degree you can write in your journal or choose not to. If you’ve bought this book, then you probably either journal already and want to get more from your journaling, or, you are curious about what you can gain from a journaling habit.The more you write the better you get at writing. Practice makes perfect as they say. You can use your journal for diary entries, write ambitions and goals, write theories, pick up field reports, create a personal development strategy, sketch out your art, create an art journal or collage book, or you can use a journal for figuring out your budget, spending, and finances, even plan a small business.I’d quickly like to mention one important skill related to writing which is reading. It is important that as an Intelligent Man you spend some time reviewing your journal entries, learning new topics to discuss or write about and constantly look for ways that you can achieve more from your writing and journaling habit. We will look at a journaling technique at some point which will be useful for integrating reading with writing skills. I hope you enjoy and gain as much from this short book as I did writing it.Where to Start.It would be without question that the first step to journaling is to get a decent pen or pencil and an actual paper-based journal to write in. My advice is simple, use a blue or black pen, one that has refillable cartridges such as a fountain pen or ball pen (if you are the kind to review and edit entries then you may use a decent pencil not too soft or too hard, an HB will do) and a journal that has lined paper to begin with. I suggest lined paper for beginning your journaling habit as it adds structure to your writing and keeps you in the best organization for getting into the habit of figuring how much you write on average (per journaling session).As a caveat, the purpose of writing a paper-based journal is it actually makes your journal a more intimate and personal possession, a lot more tangible to make its significance as a writing tool (rather than a keyboard) and therefore makes a great priceless object to own.You should start off with smaller goals for your journaling before working your way up. A few passages is a great starting point. You will more than likely not feel like writing pages and pages to start with and you may find that it is counterproductive to your schedule to write at great lengths in the beginning.There are many options for journals when you come to buy one. You may want to start out right away before even purchasing a dedicated journal. If you have lined paper at hand then you can start writing when you’re done with reading this. You may write about what journal you will buy, what you will look forward to writing about and what pen/pencil you wish to use, and why.You are probably aware of digital journal apps or software which is great because you can sync among devices your entries. It is private because it is password protected but I advise you to start out in a paper-based journal if you’ve never journaled before. There is something special about using handwritten notepads/journals that give them a certain legitimacy and is more memorable than digital based journals.If you don’t know where to start, here are some quick start tips I can give you, in this following list:QuickStart Tips.

  • Set up a time of day to journal (doing this will get you into a habit of doing it).
  • Only journal if you have something to write about (most journal instructors tell you to write about bad experiences as a therapy tool, you can try this also).
  • Be sure you have little to no distractions when starting out.
  • Be sure you are in a comfortable setting and safe.
  • Date every entry you write.
  • Write fast and don’t censor yourself (you can edit after), try to over communicate and use lots of descriptive words.
  • Keep your journal(s) confidential especially when starting out.
  • Write at length if you feel like it or keep it brief.

(List continues..)

  • Get things off your chest.
  • Write in your own style, don’t worry too much about spelling or grammar.
  • Add embellishments to your writing to begin improving your writing.
  • Read things that you are interested in.
  • Reference if you must.
  • Write as often as you can manage.
  • Fill a journal before getting another but plan ahead depending on when you will be journaling in the near future (you will want something to write in).
  • Describe your day.
  • Write goals.
  • Use a weekly theme.
  • Try writing a poem (it doesn’t have to rhyme).
  • Describe people you meet.
  • Doodle.
  • Write Prayers.
  • Write a Short Story.
  • Write a 3-6 page Essay.
  • Get imaginative.
  • Write a list of all the things you’re grateful for.
  • Find a quote and write about it.
  • Keep a stockpile of pens/pencils.
  • Edit old entries.
  • Write about old entries from a new perspective at a later date.
  • Practice writing a Limiting Belief and then Correct it.
  • Practice Reframes.
  • Do a brainstorm session.
  • Write about your most cherished moments.
  • Try and recall dialogue from your favorite conversations and write them out.
  • Try and recall your favorite moments in Movies or TV shows and reimagine them as you being the hero, then write them in your journal.
  • Write a bucket list.
  • Trust the process of writing (you will get better at it over time).
  • Make lists (of any kind you wish).
  • Write down what makes you unhappy, then what makes you HAPPY beyond measure.
  • Write about something that doesn’t make sense to you.
  • Try to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense to you.
  • Write a letter to yourself.
  • Try journal every day for 90 days when starting out (more on this later).
  • Write a letter to your future self-saying how proud you are of him.
  • Review your week, month, year.
  • Glue cutouts from your favorite magazines and write about them.
  • Start an art journal instead if you don’t like to write.
  • Combine writing with art.
  • Write about your current health and your health goals (same with fitness, relationships, wealth, etc).
  • Write down the things you wish you never said.
  • Write down the things you wish you said but never had an opportunity.
  • Write out comebacks, one-liner, jokes, puns and funny ideas.
  • Describe your favorite food, car, photography, holiday destination, pets, etc.
  • Describe your dreams and keep a dream journal.
  • Keep a gaming log (if you are a gamer this could be cool, right?)
  • Whenever you experience something new – write about it.
  • Take time off from journaling to go on real life adventures and then return with new writing material.
  • Try all of the above and everything in this book.

Hopefully, this list of starter tips will get you more excited about journaling and gives you some ideas you can use for journaling.Self-Exploration and Reflection.Writing in a journal is a great place for self-exploration and reflection into your own being as a person, soul and professional in the world. I should mention that you may want to have separate journals for different life aspects. What I mean is you may want a journal for your professional life, you may want one for your finances, you may want one for your personal development, you may just want to keep a diary and so on. It’s perfectly fine to do this but I suggest starting out with just a single journal to find out where most of your focus is spent.Now, journaling can seem like a chore after the initial interest and passion for writing have worn off. You may dive head first deep into journaling and really enjoy it, to begin with, and then all of a sudden you dread the damned thing. This is normal and sometimes it is the same with almost anything new you pursue. With journaling, you will need to pace yourself and sometimes you will be writing more than other times. Don’t worry about this as you will find your sweet spot soon enough.Journaling is a great place to figure out your strengths and how to make the best use of them for your effectiveness. The same could be said for weaknesses whereby you can figure out how to manage them and improve on them. Personal growth is enhanced by keeping a journal as it is a place to record findings and pinpoint problem areas.Knowing what to write about is usually the off-putting the part about journaling because it can make you feel you have stagnated with a certain area of growth. This usually means you are facing similar obstacles and if you journal about them enough you can move forward. Sometimes on the off chance, you will just suddenly get an urge to write in your journal because you’ve figured out something new that changes your perspective or that were an answer or solution to something you plateaued with.If you’re ever having an off day and you feel like you want to write but not sure what to write about, write about that. You can start off by writing “Today I have totally no clue or idea what I can write about, at times like these I shouldn’t feel inadequate about my journaling process, it will improve over time. My subconscious mind is preparing myself for all the amazing and interesting things I will write about in my journal next time. My subconscious is a cool dude.” Simply show yourself some self-love and care for the part of you that doesn’t know what to write by being nurturing to yourself instead of critical.Put Time Into Your Journal.Journaling doesn’t happen overnight. You will need to put time and effort into your journal. You will need to review and write in your journal for it to be of any use. What you put into it now you will get later. It is a work in progress and you will never finish journaling if you learn to love your journal. It is something you do out of self-care and will benefit your self-esteem and give you better insight into your life. Working in this way you will become a kind of quasi-journalist for yourself allowing you to make your own mind up about events, twitter updates, whatever it may be that you have Spring Boarded and recorded in your life.I highly recommend writing in your journal at your own pace for at least a year before you make your mind up about its usefulness. Review at the end of every quarterly year (3 month period) and reflect on what you wrote up to then. This way you will understand what I mean by the usefulness of a journal as a personal development journal. If you want to take it a step further you may try to write quarterly goals and record progress in your journal for each quarter.Some people live a busy and hectic lifestyle and they will start journaling only to give it up within the first week or two. This is a sign that they need to journal. Journaling is about ‘ME TIME’ and taking time out for yourself at least once a week is important for your health. Journaling gives you a safe time to do this and a tool to work out your thoughts, achievements, goals, problems and next step on your path.Your journal will soon become an important and cherished part of your week and will take you to a more productive, creative and sensible lifestyle. They say meditating is good for you, well so is journaling. As a child, you were taught more and more to imagine less and less. This invaluable skill creates character, ideas, innovation, and growth. Learn to become your own Hero and become a person who journals.Important Journaling Routine.Some pointers you need for journaling is to make sure you’re comfortable and relaxed beforehand. It would be too conventional of me to advise that you make your space clear, turn off all distractions and turn off your mobile phone. Instead, my advice is to make yourself comfortable. If this means having your favorite music on in the background, leaving your clutter out and/or watching your favorite TV shows for ambiance, then, by all means, go ahead. Cutting out any distraction can also be very useful.Journaling is a time to center yourself, become grounded in your reality and to spend alone time while you reflect and plan ahead. As someone who developed the schizoaffective disorder and having mental health treatment over the last decade, I find journaling from time to time used for brain dumping and organizing my thoughts. You may want to set up and schedule your journaling time ahead of the session which I highly advise in the first quarter. It would be wise to do this to avoid unwanted interruptions and to dedicate time for yourself which you deserve at least once a week. In such a busy world we need time to ourselves even if this seems selfish at first.There are no rules in journaling as to how much writing you commit to or how long you should spend journaling. The more you do your journaling the more you will be able to do. You may start out writing a couple of passages and in a fortnight’s time, you will be writing for at least 45 minutes. It is a good idea to write and time your sessions for the first two weeks to get an idea of how much time you need to set aside for your journaling sessions. Don’t get carried away by doing a journal three times a day or you will burn out fast and get fed up. Instead, start with something manageable and I recommend once a week, to begin with.There is something that happens when you start journaling. You will at first have a boost of enthusiasm to write to your heart’s content and soon you may find you have nothing to write about. This is normal. It does not mean that you can’t think of what to write, it’s just what Even Pagan calls ‘Habit Gravity’ coming up from how you used to be before you started journaling. You don’t need to stress about it. The best advice for this is to do something different for a while. Go out into the world and gain some new experiences to write about.As I mentioned about journaling not having rules, there are perhaps some things that would be good as guidelines for you to take onboard. You can write freely, as creatively as you want, being subjective and imaginative. Or you can write about facts, times, logs and objective things or organize events and make plans. Journaling in any of these ways works well and you can do both in your first journal to better get an idea of where your focus is, where you would like it to be and what is important to you, and what is unimportant to you.I journal on a regular basis at least once a week. Starting off with a once a week journaling habit will give you a whole week to think of things, Spring Board topics and to give you enough time to manage your time. You can schedule for Sunday night to journal, plan for the week ahead and review your week. Alternatively, if you find yourself as an emotionally inclined person you may want to write in your journal depending on your feelings on a given day.Making time to journal, once again, is mandatory to making journaling a habit. A rigid and disciplined structure to your busy life will allow you to stop once a week and work on yourself. You may want to devote an afternoon to the journal. This is a great starting point as you may be finished before you know it and can have some extra ‘ME TIME’ to do something you enjoy, catch up on emails or unfinished work.The whole importance of this chapter is to get you up to speed with ‘scheduling your journal sessions’. Stick to something manageable, have structure, make it a sacred time for yourself and if you feel like writing entries any other time of the week you can. You may find that after a while you will voluntarily be adding entries on your own accord and no longer need a structure set up to make a journal session. When you’ve reached this point you have already gotten the most from your scheduling and can continue how you please.I promise you the beginning quarter will be hard work but after that will be a breeze. Another thing I’d like to go over is timing your sessions. In the first quarter, you will benefit from keeping a spreadsheet or a log of some kind to time and record your session duration. By doing this you can figure out an average of how long it takes you to journal in one session and be satisfied. Of course, you will be fed up within eight sessions and will already have some idea. This is for your own reference so you can integrate journaling into your lifestyle.I advise that if you write for 45 minutes per journaling session in the first quarter that you will see immediate results in your ability. If you’ve never written much before you might struggle with 45 minutes and want to start with 20 minutes. Again, make it manageable and try to stick to a structure for the first quarter or at least the first month. For those of you who already write, you may want to use the ‘timing your journal sessions’ I mentioned in the last paragraph.Other pointers for your writing routine would include:

  • Stay hydrated.
  • Maybe have a healthy snack.
  • Go for a walk first to clear your mind.
  • Meditate for ten minutes first.
  • Be responsible with caffeine.
  • See to it that loved ones can be left with regards to safety.
  • Don’t drink the night before.
  • Don’t journal if you are feeling drained or exhausted.
  • Don’t pressure yourself if you are overwhelmed by life circumstances (you should deal with those instead).
  • Do what you know works best for you.

Using a Journal as a Research Tool.A great way to ensure motivation from the start is to use a journaling technique they labeled as ‘Spring Boarding’. Spring Boarding is where you find snippets of information or write notes of concepts, ideas, insights and record them for later writing.By Spring Boarding you always have material to write about. It is very easy to do with modern technology and you can do it while waiting in line or during your commute – whenever you get time to read. The key is to simply find things like inspirational quotes, facts, articles, pictures or take photos at certain places and then when you get home you can journal about those. This is where you can really integrate reading and writing skills together.Become Great by Recording Thoughts.A man who knows himself is greater than a man who knows others. Writing in a journal allows you to really get to know thyself. You should use your journal in such a way that you really get to know yourself. A good idea for if you don’t know what to journal about is to read your previous entries instead and then writing more about them with new knowledge.Writing in a journal inspires change. With knowledge of yourself, you will find faults in your choices and character. Do not be negative about this, nobody is perfect. You will find that most of the time that this inspires change. As humans we all learn from experience and journaling is a great way to get your thoughts out and gain perspective on them. You may find solutions to problems and you may figure out new goals in this manner.Most of the time we have many fleeting thoughts that we forget. Have you ever had a great idea and before you knew it you had forgotten the idea for it never to return, again? This is a common problem most people experience quite often and never take the action to prevent it from happening.In journaling, we can get to grips with our thoughts in a way that we can begin to control the process around this problem. By writing down your ideas as soon as you get them you will never forget them!! This is where you can get really serious about your journaling like carrying a notepad and pen around to write down every idea you get. Although most people don’t do this it is actually a great skill to have. Once you get home you can expand on your idea with your journal writing.You may not want to carry a pen and paper with you at all times and sometimes it may seem impractical to do so. I’m not going to propose to know the best solution to not remembering ideas but learning more about yourself through journaling allows you better insight to what you may have thought up at that time. The idea will come to you if only you continually press yourself for it. In journaling, you are consciously using this same mental process to generate those thoughts. (An alternate mental activity is to let thoughts arise, and then tell you-you will make a mental note of it. When you sit or lie down to the journal you can give yourself a five-minute time out and meditate on the thoughts you mentally noted during the day. This is not a 100% foolproof method so take it lightly.)Recording thoughts is great for journaling and so many people can’t even remember what they did exactly a year ago. Journaling gives you immediate access to record your feelings, theories, ideas, thoughts, and experiences. It is naturally important that I made a point of this when it comes to journaling.Life Management with Journalling.One of the most useful uses for journaling is managing finances. Any person who manages their finances from memory is bound to make mistakes. Although budgeting may be hard because it is boring, writing down the figures and reviewing them often is a very good skill for a smart Intelligent Man to have. You can be as strict with your money as you’d like by writing down everything you spend money on, or you can allocate spending money to keep everything organized the old-fashioned way.Making a weekly budget is a good start. Plan out a week’s spending a week ahead. If you get paid your salary on a monthly basis, you will have to do it for the month ahead. The whole goal is to make sure you can afford your outgoings, have money to spare for daily costs and have some spare to invest in yourself. If you are struggling to make ends meet, then doing your budgeting in a journal is a must. Heck!! You could even devote a whole journal to finances.What about those important scheduled dates and appointments coming up? Have you planned ahead? By using your journal to plan ahead of time you can better get the most from your meetings and events. You can write freely about how much money you will need, what questions you could ask, what you plan to get from the meeting, what you want to communicate, what steps you will take as a contingency. The only limit is your imagination.Sometimes when meeting someone new we forget the details about them and journaling allows us to write down those details in order to better make sense of the person we met. You can write down their name, their eye color, their style, their attitude, their age and other biographical information. Did you trust this person? Did you think they could have a part in your life? Did you find them attractive? These things can be useful reminders to write down and record in your journal. How did you meet them? You can even glue their business card to the page and write notes around it. Be as pragmatic or creative as you like, it is your journal.Who Am I Journalling For?Of course, a time will come when you question who you are writing for. Before you start writing in your journal you want to specify to some degree who could possibly read your journal(s). Who would the audience be? Is it private or is it going to be for an audience? Who would you share it with if you had to? This will help you to write in a style that would be preferred by your audience which is good for you to consider.If you are writing in a very personal style and would prefer not to share your entries with anyone you will need to keep it confidential and having a designated place for your journal is important. You will have to take into consideration who would be allowed to read your journal and who is not. This is an added responsibility skill that you will learn from keeping a journal. If it is private then you must keep it private from guests and family too.Using your journal as a creative outlet is also a great idea. Art journals are a great example of creative use of a journal. You can buy an A4 sketchbook and start creating pages of art instead of actually writing. I’ve tried this and it gives a satisfaction that is quite difficult to put into words. I cut things out of magazines I had laying around, picked up bits of rubbish, leaves, receipts, bus tickets, kept my chewing gum wrappers and so on. I would then make collages in the sketchbook and draw some doodles or graffiti on the pages too. This is a great way to start seeing the world differently and a great alternative to writing that is also valid.Ask Yourself Questions To Overcome Writer’s Block.Sometimes you will think you have writer’s block. What is writer’s block? Well, it is the feeling that you can’t think of anything to write about. If this is the case, allow me to introduce something that I find useful. I learned it from David DeAngelo’s ‘Mastery with Women and Dating’ program but I forgot the source he cited.Roughly paraphrasing – “If you are feeling bored – you need a challenge. And if you are feeling anxious – you need a skill.”Now when it comes to writer’s block usually it is anxiety around writing. You want to write but you have nothing immediate to write about. Well, you can simply write about not knowing what to write about. What are your feelings around writer’s block? Are you being too hard on yourself?Another common thing you will arrive at in your writing is a sudden urge to write furiously and relentlessly about something. I strongly advise that you take this notion to its limits. It is very good to listen to your intuition to write and if you feel like getting something off your chest without harming anyone in the process you should write about it at length. If you ever feel like you ‘just want to write’ for the sake of writing, then that is fine too. Usually, you will feel these urges, begin to write, and find that time passes by quickly. You will feel much better after getting it done.When writing in your journal always be asking questions. What way can I describe this? What was pleasant about this journey? What did I dislike about Friday night out on the town? What did I like? What makes me happy? What makes me unhappy? What are some clever ways to save up for that summer vacation?By asking questions you are being creative and allowing your imagination to arrive at solutions. You will find over time that the more you ask your brain for answers to things that mean a great deal to you, your brain will start to figure it out for you.If you ever get stuck with writing and you just have to write something, instead of getting stressed, why not look at an older entry and see if you have any new learnings about it. What do you know now that could have improved that experience? Is your old theory or advice still relevant? If so, why? If not, why? What are some ways you can improve your writing in future entries?A good exercise for journaling is to write a question at the top of the page and then brainstorm and list things in answer to the question. Brainstorming ideas is great to get you to see the hidden potential of just how many different things you can write about.What Are Your Achievements?A great and almost mandatory exercise for your journal is to write down all of your achievements and all of your future goals. You can write extensively and embellish as you wish, or you may want to keep it pragmatic and simple. There is no right or wrong.Writing down your achievements improves your self-esteem and allows you to figure out your strengths and weaknesses. By writing down your goals you devise a plan of sorts, to write towards something as a theme. You will be able to track your progress and plan ahead your goals, and your learnings. What do you want to achieve next?This is probably the cheesiest tip I could give you so I’ll keep it succinct and to the point. Write a bucket list, write why you want to do those things on the list and how you will go about them.A quote I think I got from Robert Greene, says that you should not share goals in advance. I totally agree with this notion and in fact, journaling is the best way to keep things private before going public with them. You can write down your deepest desires if you wish and nobody has to see them if you keep your journal confidential. Of course, writing illegal and depraved things will more than likely get you into trouble with the authorities so don’t get carried away with your imagination – If you are inclined to write those topics, I suggest you learn to write fiction.Going Digital:There are a few recommendations I have for turning your journaling into a habit. These following Apps and Products are great supplements for a life of journaling.

  • Evernote – This is by far the most useful note-taking app on Android, Windows and iOS/Mac. Not only is it compatible cross-platform but it has most features that you need for capturing fleeting thoughts/ideas and generally keeping everything organized in one place. You can have a free account or purchase an upgrade for a monthly (low) fee. I highly recommend it.
  • Day One – This is probably the best journaling app on Mac with reminders to keep you interested in your journaling schedule. I own the Classic version which is still good but the new version has been upgraded with extra features and cloud sync ability so you can access your journal on the go. Like with Evernote you can add photos to your notes/journal entries so it is more immersive when reading. This app is only for Mac users.
  • Ulysses – This isn’t really a journaling app but I had to mention it because I absolutely love it. It is a great and useful writing app with the basic layout to keep you undistracted as possible. I find it very useful for concentrating on writing for long periods. It is only available on Mac.
  • Wunderlist – This is a To Do app that can be found cross platform. Even though it’s not a journaling app I thought I’d mention it due to its capabilities to leave reminders and help you to get organized with personal accountability.
  • A Day In Life Journal – I went through a period of spending a lot of time on my Kindle Fire HD around two years ago. This nifty little app for the price of a Starbucks Coffee is a great tool journaling in a Diary-like fashion available on Android and Amazon platforms. I know a lot of people like the new Kindle’s and this is worth a mention.
  • Journal Prompt Apps – I’m new to these. Maybe I’ve naturally been okay with writing journals and never really found a need for the prompts so to speak. Thinking about it, in the past, there have been times when I could’ve benefited from one of these apps. Great for beginners to journaling indeed!! An example of these apps I found was the ‘Paperblanks Journal Prompts’ app, which I believe is available on Google Play and iOS.

More Info on Journaling:If you are looking for more info on Journaling and would like to get even more from journaling, then there are several resources which offer in-depth information on the subject. Here are some I found interesting (all links are unless described as otherwise):

Journaling is the foundation for all writing habits.

Public Journal

Foolishly Attracted.

Attraction is straightforward. A lot of guys mistakenly believe that attraction is a complicated and pot luck kind of happenstance that foolishly occurs with certain requirements set by the females logical mind. Jackpot!! This is a reactive mindset that doesn’t serve for seduction and is actually a beta Male behaviour. Attraction happens in seconds, it is observable and natural, it is something that happens without factoring in complete logic, it is usually emotion based and personality based attraction exists in that it exceeds the expectations of the genetically good looking beta males who don’t know what they’re doing with women and believe me, the majority of them rely solely on their physique for attraction. I’m not necessarily great looking, in fact, my looks have gone worse over the years, I’m slightly pudgy around my waist, kind of skinny fat because I have a high metabolism but ate like a pig for a decade. I used to drink, smoke, do street drugs, mostly from reliable sources, I’ve seen friends overdose, I’ve puked blood, been flat ass broke out of pocket, sold things to fund my nightlife, traded my soul to the devil for strength and thought of suicide several times; never fully mistakenly claiming the lord of darkness as my master. I’ve been in a few terrible situations thanks to living in a small town of 30,000 population approximately with increasingly evolving and law abiding citizens who care more about well being than consuming handfuls of mushrooms. It is however, unattractive to the pessimists to predict that drugs, intoxication and unhealthy habits be enjoyed by masses of degenerates in this town. Strangely enough a lot of young men pride themselves on their keen abilities to break the law uncaptured, evading consequences and creating their own adventures in life, which following masses of school girls, college girls and generically popular women actually do find attractive. Uncultured as this may seem, I’m not fabricating any of it. Give these guys a few hundred Great British Sterling and the first things that they think of involve buying unconsumable amounts of narcotics and selling them to their circle of influence. I’ve slowly distanced myself from the whole charade in order to regain some kind of form of sanity after ending up in alcohol rehabilitation and drug counselling along with mental health services and nearly relapsing. I’d rather have a bad haircut than insufflate 3 grams of cocaine mixed with God knows what the dealer blended it with. Of course, most of the drugs are party drugs, street drugs in the UK tend to survive beyond the perimeters of justice due to the nature of nightlife and raves. Repetitive loud music that goes on for hours while punters monkey around chatting rubbish and dancing into the dawn. From dusk til dawn like some caricatured rendition of Trainspotting and Pulp Fiction for irresponsible adults.

I had to depart from that whole nightlife scene before I got too deep into using drugs and my GP had told me the alcohol was no good for my blood pressure. I’m in the second half of my thirties, I can walk into a local bar almost black out drunk and kiss a girl nearly half my age quite effortlessly. Usually it’s a badass bitch from some popular network of influence among her circle of friends. I kind of understand Attraction to some degree. I’ve practised for years going out, making blunders, crashing and burning sets for reference experiences, going out alone, going out with guys better or worse than me, I’ve tried numerous pick up tactics, even canned lines, even threw everything out the window and embraced natural game for the posterity of being myself. One thing I know for certain is Attraction happens unpredictably until you figure out your preferences, what you like or dislike. This gives you clues as to what you need to do to require game. You must build reference experiences until you know exactly what you like or don’t like. Be good with women in general before you settle down. That’s been the motto I’ve stuck with for over a decade.

As BlackDragon, Caleb Jones says, there is guy drama and girl drama. They both exists, they are usually unattractive because the intensity explodes into behaviours that are unwarranted, there is a lack of self-control and temperance on behalf of the individuals involved which is usually a precursor to relationship breakdown in couples therapy and often the signalling that a person needs space to think things through to the requirement of applied intelligence may be evoked. I remember being in a short fling with an Asian woman and she lost her temper, threw her phone at the wall smashing it into a million pieces. I remained unreactive and calm. She then started to throw a tantrum and began attacking me, I restrained her by bear hugging her and she began to cry and then romantically kiss me. Girl drama. Guy drama is just as toxic and sometimes more convenient to cause problems. How many times do you see frustrated and psychopathic men in the news? Such instances demonstrate that men’s temper control requires strict discipline under monitoring of clinical observation if they are to heal from the aggression they put into the world. Hostage takers, terrorists, criminals, that isn’t to say women aren’t as bad because some of them are yet men have a higher frequency and potentiality to become toxic under pressure. Being toxic sometimes creates the wrong kind of attraction and this is why it persists. However, Attraction is rarely developed to be anything decent unless proper education and quality of respectful communication for self-esteem and win-win interactions are present.

For the most part Attraction is apparently illogical and understood by only a percentage of society. In today’s climate a lot of people are turning to fitness because let’s face it, attractive physiques are attractive, there is no denying that health indicators are attractive. Other health indicators are mentioned in Geoffrey Miller’s book The Mating Mind. Besides signalling behaviours the indications of a healthy creative brain substitute a large amount of attractiveness in males. Large plumage on peacocks attract female peahens for sexual behavioural cues and in humans this is what signalling entails. Signalling in humans though can sometimes be fabricated and mismanaged communicating the wrong things to potential mates and therefore this is why we see strangely dressed unattractive people on shows like Jerry Springer or Jeremy Kyle. Other signalling which is misunderstood may be health cues such as young men taking large quantities of alcohol consumption competitively so to the point that females find their ability attractive although within a decade their health may have deteriorated significantly no longer presenting them as healthy individuals. Other signalling occurs through competitive behaviour which may or may not be considered healthy in duration; eating competitions, dangerous and extreme sports, hunting, racing, and so on. Many men compete for the consideration of the masses at the risk of their life or health in order to gain attributable ‘labels’ about their bravery or prowess and it is all related to dating and attraction. This is the human version of the peacocks colourful feathers. However, competitiveness also exists in the realm of the mind and academics is a huge part of well-to-do social acclimatisation and manoeuvring into higher social standards among the wealthier classes that enables members to move more freely throughout life due to access to resources and ability to influence outcomes. There is a significant benefit to individuals who go through formal education and this is why a lot of haters arise out of dislike for formal education which is always providing proper and factual based education to the masses. Children with necessary education levels do far better in life than those with educational obstacles and this should not be dismissed. Other factors that healthy individuals may negotiate in dating and attraction are beauty and longevity. People who stay attractive for longer spans of time are considered among many to have good genetics, attributed to good healthy lifestyles and beneficial diets too. They say a symmetrical appearing face is more attractive than a non symmetrical appearing facial features and this also is attributable to good healthy genetics. Little possibilities of factors such as these are scientifically reliable indicators of good health for instance body mass index, bodily odours, oral hygiene, youthful features, good mood and emotional health, all contribute to overall attraction. Besides getting into details Attraction is mostly based in personality triggered communication. Behavioural cues that members of the opposite sex naturally and subconsciously find attractive such as fitness indicators in our current example, intelligence, emotional relativity, productiveness and utility are all accountable to split second decision making on level of attractiveness in a mating partner. Will this person make a good parental figure? Will this person contribute to my tribe? Will this person be around long enough to look after our children if we have children? Can this person provide survival value and social value to allow us to live effortlessly and with longevity? These kinds of questions arise when distinguishing attractive characteristics logically but most of the time these questions happen beyond conscious decision making in an instance of romance.

Public Journal

Not a PUA. Not a Writer.

I’m not really a PUA. I know I use the term generally but to be honest I’m not a PUA. I don’t approach sets during the day, write field reports and try tricks and techniques to attempt to attract women into my love life. Most of the game experiences I’ve had have been on nights out and I simply listen and check out PU products to stay up to date with stuff being circulated. I honestly couldn’t give a damn how many girls I pull on a weekend. I go out to have a good time, and if you want to be a part of it then great but if not, I’m not going to begrudge you and try steal your girls or anything like that. For the most part, I go out for personal entertainment but I’m at a point whereby I’m welcoming the idea of romance and open to meeting potential love interests. They say you shouldn’t qualify or justify yourself for the principle of character but I just have to be clear that I don’t leave my home walking down the street wanting to bang every woman I meet and collect hundreds of phone numbers everyday. I’m not a PUA, I’m an amateur writer.

Being a writer means I can choose a topic and expound my own ideas on it. I can write pretty much anything I want and readers will believe what I write at a moment’s notice. Some readers are more sceptical than others and will question what they read so it’s important that I only write about things I’ve experienced and understand first hand. If I’m writing fiction then it’s important that I make that obvious and if I’m writing non-fiction then it’s important I make that obvious. For my own credibility it serves to be honest and authentic as a writer. I want my readership to keep returning to teach them useful things I’ve learned myself and to have purpose for my writing. Writing can be challenging because not only does it mean articulating ideas and themes into content but it also means I have to be considerate to my readership. Without them then I am only writing for myself, which is originally why I started writing anyway but that’s not the point. The whole PUA thing started years ago when I wanted to somehow sleep with so many women I lost all purpose as to what I actually should be doing with my life. I wouldn’t realistically want to sleep with every woman I meet which would be ridiculous. I just want to sleep with the ones I choose to. That’s the whole point in getting good with women in general and the whole purpose of pick up artistry. What attracted me to the PUA scene was reading field reports because all the favourite writing I consumed came from journals, diaries and such. I always wanted to read about people’s life experiences. So I’m turn I wanted to write about life experiences. Field reports were mostly funny to read, interesting, clever and the dialogue was curiously unpredictable. This was going to be fun. I was going to go out and make field reports. After a few attempts I realised PUA skills were actually difficult to master. I realised I didn’t have much game myself and that I could actually learn this skill set. I stopped writing field reports because I just thought it obvious to always be in field and to experience life first hand. It only makes sense that you learn from those around you.

Going out and having a good night usually means you have some noteworthy moments, you make new connections and you either pull or get close to pulling, you get back to a place with a chick, same night sex or set up a day 2. Obviously you can’t account for all the various possibilities of these but if women are adding you on social media, you got numbers, met a few new people, had positive interactions, maybe a kiss close here and there, then you’re night went pretty well and you could benefit from writing a field report. At least that’s what the purpose of field reports were, and also to extrapolate what worked, where you could improve and so on. The fact that any internet user with enough reference experiences could literally fabricate a successful field report seemed weird to me. They call these guys keyboard jockeys. Some guys just spend all their time on pick up forums and never go out in the field to actually do game. Usually they have the most theories too. It wasn’t until Real Social Dynamics began making shifts in the seduction community away from canned material to Natural game that the whole community changed its mindset about tricks and tactics to real game. David DeAngelo mentioned it in his Mastery program, something about “Once you’ve learned the tricks and techniques you realise that it’s something deeper”. Most guys come to the point of decision with pick up artistry that they want to get this part of their life handled. They want to know how to generate attraction, build rapport, create a connection and really have something meaningful occur between them and a woman they find amazing. At least that’s what I suspected in myself. I wanted to have more choice, more understanding and to be able to connect better with potential romantic interests. It only goes to say that hours and hours of failed communication brings you to the genesis of understanding that the mistakes are what build up your character and that by character your identity resides. It becomes a lot easier to make sense of things if you write them down and articulate your ideas, learnings, understandings and so on. That’s the whole point of a true field report. So ultimately it is useful to be honest in your writing instead of fabricating things, and you can do whatever you want to do when you write but if you’re trying to improve a skill set, then it should be treated as a science: hypothesis, experiment, conclusion. (As an elementary formula.). This way your writing helps you and this is exactly how writing can help you in more aspects in life than just getting laid. I guess in this sense, I’m not a PUA. I’m not a Writer. It’s basically social science in a practical format. I’m not a PUA. I’m not a Writer.

Public Journal

Deservingness Issues.

A lot of what you go through in experience with the opposite sex comes down to deservingness issues. Do you deserve what you’re attracting? Are you attracting the right things? What is it that you want from your dating life? Now I can’t remember the whole details of the field report from years ago when I nearly had a threesome with two girls. It’s happened twice in fact. Once when two girls and I were in a car and one of them was sexually escalating and the other was supportive of the fact but I somehow was not taking on both of them due to deservingness issues on my own behalf. Another time I was making out with two girls in turn, it wasn’t a three way kiss, just taking turns. Well I ended up digitally stimulating them both at the same time sand that was probably the closest I got to a threesome with two women. Years ago I ended up having a threesome with me, an older (cougar) woman and a best friend. He was banging her doggystyle and I was getting oral sex from her at the same time. This was my first threesome experience with another guy. It’s funny but most men tend to measure each other’s masculinity by their sexual experiences. If I told you I used to try to pick up strippers then you’d probably laugh but I’ve tried on numerous occasions with several different outcomes. Unfortunately I’ve never slept with a stripper. I have slept with a book author, a Miss Central Malaysia and my own boss. Sometimes I believe these Casanova choices are deemed as much more important than quantity. Quality over quantity. The quality of my pick ups have been for high status women rather than numbers of women. The women were of high status and not just any attractive young thing. My ex girlfriend was 16 years my senior. She paid for holidays and meals, nights out and so on. I always screen for quality in the women I pursue. I have very high standards. I know that money doesn’t matter too much because some women are far more abundant in success and wealth than me. I screen for quality of relationships. Does this woman have what it takes to be passionate? Is she looking for love, romance, respect, or just a fling and some fun time? If I was a gigolo would she pay me for my services? Can I make this woman feel like the most special, beautiful and precious woman on the planet while keeping my dignity and hers?

Sometimes it takes life experiences to allow yourself to learn more about your true nature. Would I like to experience a threesome with two beautiful young attractive women? Of course, it’s probably one of the biggest Male fantasies of our times. Have I nearly experienced it? Yes, twice nearly experiences it. What I would ideally enjoy the most is to experience women in abundance and I think the content of those experiences must be positive and enjoyable. I’m not a big fan of histrionics, drama and dysfunctional behaviour even though I’m not naive enough to know it doesn’t exist. The resistance I experience with women is largely invested in my own boundary function. I ask myself; am I willing and allowing myself to meet new potential romantic interests? If not, why not? What’s holding me back? Am I allowing women into my life or cockblocking myself? Do I want to meet new women? Am I open to the idea of meeting and attracting new women into my life? It only makes sense that one has to allow these things into their life. A deservingness factor, to allow yourself to deserve the opportunities that are arising into your life, to be deserving of the majickal and rewarding nature of life and love into one’s life. Open to abundance. Open to positivity. Open to love. And love comes in all shapes and sizes.

I’m not trying to show my prowess with this post. As a reminder it brings about the realisation that it’s possible to have threesomes with beautiful young attractive women. It happens. A lot more naturally if there is plausible deniability for the act unless living in liberal political climates. For example, polyamory is far more widespread in the US where sharing partners is more acceptable under certain conditions. Britain being quite the conservative country tends to frown on people who exhibit sexual variety and novelty. It does exist though. It takes half an hour looking at candy in Blackpool to realise that the British love cock. I don’t mean to be blunt, I’m just stating the obvious. We usually see some drunken out of shape women on a hen do with huge blow up willies bigger than their leg. Schoolchildren in Britain are almost famed for drawing dicks in their homework diaries. Sex is a huge part of western culture. And westerners are more liberal with their attitudes about sex. The porn industry which is a multi billion dollar money making machine is a constant talking point and attractive feature of the internet to many lonesome desperate men and women. Last I heard was PornHub are paying amateur homemade video submissions. That’s right. You can masturbate on camera, send it to PornHub and get paid for your ‘hazard work’. I met Johnny Soporno on Facebook. He is well known to the American porn industry and I bantered with him on a photo of him with Porn Starlet Vandal Vyxen. I don’t really know much about porn but Johnny had a free video series and some other educational material for pick up artists which I tried to consume. The whole main teaching was to “liberate women of their sexuality and the mindsets surrounding women’s sexuality”. I thought it was a noble and worthwhile investment of time. If that was the only thing I took from that video series then I believe I’ve learned the most important tenet of the correct mindset and temperament to take around women. You see the disconnect happens when you feel you don’t deserve what you’re being given. Women deserve a lot more liberation than they’ve experienced in the past. The way that you feel you don’t deserve women is the way women feel constrained and held back from the sexuality they wish to express to you. The liberation lies in knowing you deserve it. You are deserving. Claim your deservingness now.

Public Journal

A Quick Idea for Writing as a Part-Time PUA.

The pick up community has been through many and various technical and abstract developments over the years and the reason for this is a sociologists problem. The fact of the matter is that when pick up started it was all about the geeks, the lost boys, men who were left behind by their communities and became a force to improve both mens and the lives of the women involved. There are not female PUA instructors for no good reason. There are not highly intelligent and very successful businessmen who came from the world of pick up for simple unmeasurable reasons. That being said, proof that learning game makes creepy guys less creepy is a good starting point for getting into pick up. If you are not learning pick up as a man then you are missing out on some of the most socially high value non social pressure content around the globe. The importance of the integrity elements you learn through first-hand experience culminate into a lifestyle realisation and a freshly thought of individualism and interdependence from dogma of mainstream media which is also a ‘selling point’. This gives for great reason a sense of abundance that comes as a byproduct of making approaches in bars and nightclubs, getting rejected, because you will get rejected if you’re meeting enough women to learn a skillset that is unique to your personality and dynamic human way communicating to others. We are not carbon copies of each other, we are not zombies or robots. “Most people walk through life in a walking daze.” – RSD Owen ‘Tyler’ Cook.

It goes without say that if you are not doing something positive with your time you need to think of things worthwhile and earnest to others. Solipsism is a real problem in our society because people actually believe they are alone and surround themselves with reasons as to why they can’t do things even with limitations that hold them back and they listen to the crab bucket mentality of going back three steps when instead take two steps forward and one step back. Go through full throttle and plow through resistance to a point of endeavouring your own word and integrity as a man regardless of others. You should always strive to seek the correct input and to embrace your own output as a creative outlet to socialise, teach what you know to those less fortunate and to aim for abundance.

I’ve had a lot of sabotage from the people in my life in the past, accusations and aggressiveness uncalled for, improper fraternisation from peer groups, but none of that matters because I always had an internal locus of control and kept my integrity increasing. I learned a lot of life lessons a long time ago before people thought I had and the problems that arose from not knowing how to communicate my preferences and boundary function properly, through assertive compassion became the biggest and longest duration of sabotage I went through. If I’d have known how to authentically communicate how I felt about some of the things people said to me with a loss of respect for the human within then I wouldn’t have gone through so much (in some other cases prolly not too bad) hardships. There had to be an atonement. You will realise that there comes a point in your development in life that you find that a lot of what you go through is supposed to awaken you to a new kind of understanding of the world so you can take responsibility for your own life and your loved ones. What are your family values like? What are your romantic values like? What is your relationship to wealth? Is money something you’re using to ‘signal’ to potential romantic interests or a tool to take responsibility? These are important factors to becoming a parent, a lover, a masculine and vulnerable man. There has to be a balance and socialised wisdom within every dynamic of the process. You HAVE to take responsibility.

I always wanted to write since my teens. What I valued the most was the stories others had about life experiences and about the things that could be called wisdom or enlightenment from the perspective of a student posture. Even though I’ve never really gotten to write much while having the social diversity and obstacles encountered through young adult life I realised there are a lot more people going through problematic life area experiences than myself and that I could possibly help others through some form of guidance by using my intelligence constructively. The paradigm here is that intelligence is increased through contributing to society as a whole. If you constrict your possibility of helping others you will lack reward and lack of a contribution results in a scarcity effect which is unlikable, unwanted, unmerited and useless. You have to go the other way and improve, evolve and add positivity to the world no matter where you’re coming from. You have to teach to learn how to adapt and mature into somebody who is of high value. The work you put into your own suffering doesn’t go unnoticed, you will have to at some point contribute lessons learned to the good of society.

Pick up is exactly the process of scientifically setting hypotheses and extrapolating conclusions. You will never be comfortable until the realisation of wanting to allow others happiness into their lives to become a stable part of communicating effectively.. What does good communication come down to? Writing. Speaking. Listening. Non Verbal Communication. Paralanguage. Mature Boundary Function. Building Rapport. Breaking Rapport. Intimacy. Cooperation. Self-respect. Self Esteem. Teaching. Learning new subjects. Teaching what you learn and learning from what you teach. A great book for this mindset is Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton for the sole reason that you learn how to be honest upfront about subjects that matter most to you which allows you to meet the right people to learn from in the real world instead of from television, movies, junk resources. You have to learn to take two steps forward and one step back with the aim of personal growth, personal fulfilment, rapport and development of relationships with the people who matter most to you without creating hatred towards others but a non-division of mutual respect. Taking advantage of the vulnerable equates to a bullying dynamic which creates a chemical imbalance in your psychological neurological chemistry. This leads to mental decline, regression, degenerative disease, problems with mental faculties and inability to produce decent relationships in the future without having repented or metamorphosis the loser in self into the responsible winner in self. This is the mental dynamic of being unable to communicate effectively and taking an introverts posture while unabashedly delivering value to the world. It’s like being invisible, it is a disease of solipsism that rots the putrefaction that is known as ‘sin’. It is a misinterpretation of the world as a whole. You need to be compassionate to yourself and to others. We all suffer from moments of anxiety, depression, mental reversal and unhappiness due to not knowing that there are other parts of society that become effected by what psychologists would refer to as The Johari Window. This basically and fundamentally states that even though you think you know so much about a topic (whatever that may be) that there is something you know but are incompetent with, something you know and ARE competent with, something you don’t know that you are competent with and something you don’t know and are incompetent with. It simply makes sense that there is no reason to claim you know everything, we are all valuable creatures and have something we can teach to each other to make the world a more positively useful and rewarding place to live in, because at some point, and futurism is headed in this direction, the World could possibly be devastated beyond existence if we are not prudent and caring about it.

So what does all this have in correlation to writing pick up? Well, if you hate pick up and complain about it, what are you actually achieving? You’re probably just pissing off a whole community of men attempting to improve their lives and live more responsible and rewarding lives. You don’t get something for free without consequences “Despise the free lunch” (Robert Greene). Truisms are all well and good for the portion of time you feel sociable but when it comes to work (and writing is work) then you must develop a sense of contributing positive and helpful messages to your audience. If you are a pick up artist then you must consider first your fanbase and provide something they need from their level of rapport that allows you to add value to your readerships lives, essentially to improve their lifestyle and teach them the importance of life lessons, integrity, interdependence, self-esteem, mature boundary function, usefulness and power and real life skills. I never knew how to get in a bar or club without feeling self-conscious. I can now walk in a bar, ask to use a restroom without fear of rejection and be granted the request. I can walk into a bar, get a drink or few if I want, make decisions based on my level of safety, make decisions in the present moment to communicate effectively, teach others life lessons counterintuitively, socially, without a care in the world as to the outcome while adding value to others life. I do this because I can. I write about what I acre about because I can. An alpha male does what he likes. We are all alpha males in our level of domain. Never feel unworthy of what the world has to offer, work your ass off at making life improvements. Write about it, the world is evolving. Don’t get left behind. Work at it. Go chat. This is real attraction. Attraction is mutual.

Public Journal

Assertiveness, My New Job, Boundary Function.

I began my new job a couple of weeks back. I’ve never worked in a Chinese Kitchen before, always been domesticated when it comes to kitchen affairs. I’ve done a few shifts so far because it’s part-time at the moment and only easing me back into employment, is what I was informed. So far I’ve noticed that the restaurant kitchen is a very busy place to work, especially on weekends when it is at it’s busiest. Obviously more people have free time at the weekends to go out to eat at a decent and enjoyable restaurant. Anyway, enough about my work life.

I’m persistently making slow progress at the moment after crawling from a dark place. I found I treated it completely terribly because even with the help I’ve had over the years, from mental health professionals, and friends being unsupportive, I noticed everything was being interpreted as though they were all enablers. The discussions I had with my CPN at the time and the Mental Health Supported Housing (Stonham) really helped me focus on my goals at the time and that’s when I finished my degree. All this time I’ve noted that I’ve had so much support over the years where people were acting like enablers rather than giving me skills. It became quite confusing when I was suddenly dropped by all the support, my mum thought that because I had moved out, that was the end of her problems and somehow I’d be fine.

Unfortunately the ‘natural alpha’ I befriended for years was a very poor example of a decent person. Moving forward, I think we both took what we needed from each other as best friends (bros4lyfe) because I’ve learned a little about Shadow aspects from Jungian psychology which helped me make sense of why I kept acting impulsively. If anything the way I’ve evolved has become opposite of being stifled in the sense that I’m more liberated to determine my own choices and become more assertive in character, taking hints from my friends, ‘aggressiveness’. If you think about aggressiveness as being one-sided, assertiveness is like a neutral win-win situation type of communication-based in positive aggressiveness, there is a compromise yet both parties involved are respected equally. I have to come to terms with the fact that my sense of humour has been on a rollercoaster throughout my life and that I definitely have to tone it down when talking to kids. I sometimes swear like a sailor too so having to readjust to children is imperative as a personal responsibility. They don’t put age rating certification on movies for no good of reason. Online I’m a troll to some degree, plausibly within current restrictions and I’ve not gone into a business so I don’t claim copyright to anything other than my own photography when possible. I believe in fair and just treatment like most decent people.

The way I see the reason behind why I took up work, and wanted to work in a restaurant part-time, is because I’ve taken ‘a path less travelled’. I spent years in education, claiming benefits with mental illness (an affective disorder) and through treatment, support, energy, effort and engagement spent on investing in myself, educating myself about important topics regarding my life and lifestyle (I was getting a schooling from my peer group), eventually began making moves to employment, which is one of the key reasons I wanted to take my own life back when I first started self-harming over a decade ago. I still have work to do but I no longer feel I need to fight the system so much for and with constant shunning to attempt to get the counsel I need for mental HEALTH. This is my boundary function in order, being put into practice. It will take time and effort to change and adapt but at least the intention is there. “I’m not getting any younger.”

Public Journal

Going Natural.

I respect the fact that Real Social Dynamics went natural with the Pick Up Artistry thing like approximately fifteen years ago. I personally studied some of Double Your Dating products and in Mastery there is a useful Five Step Formula for success. I’d have to revise it to quote it though (my retention isn’t the best due to all the stuff and variety of material). I like to remember that it is imperative that one learns from the best before they innovate which is the last step.

Because I’ve never really had much success with women I find that I like to plug in to various much more well known names in the pick up industry to learn about more appropriate ways of approaching dating and romantic interests which in my eyes should be a positive experience and also to leave a person better off than you found them. For example, if a woman acts bitchy or catty with me, I tend to do that back in response. I break rapport at the moment I sense her rapport dropping. Most of my game is rapport based yet breaking rapport I learned from Richard ‘Gambler’ La Ruina from, a London based author, video game author and long time pick up artist. I also studied a few Speed Seduction products which I forever like to boast about even though I don’t personally use patterns. I don’t mind using tried and tested openers as long as I find them plausible because I’ve experienced myself but most of the time I just base my verbal game on free association.

I respect female pick up artists (coaches) too, namely Kezia Noble, Hayley Quinn and The Wong Girl Method. I think they have solid perspectives on the dating mistakes and what works with women in dating and romance. Hypnosis stuff is a bit weird, I used it for inner game purposes but ultimately I don’t think I’d ever get away with trying to hypnotise someone unless they were submissive and fully trusting of me. Breaking rapport makes it difficult to influence people because ultimately the rapport is reduced and that’s when a person begins thinking about leaving an interaction. I studied a year of GCSE Communication Studies when I was eighteen years old which is respectively why I find interest in pick up.

In the community especially reading things I could get for free I digested segments of materials and books which I thought I needed for whatever sticking points I had at the time until I discovered “Tyler” of RSD who constantly preached that everything self fixes if you just go out a lot. So I set my heart on befriending a natural alpha bad boy and enjoyed our friendship for many years until we got tired of each other’s bullshit. I picked up both good and bad habits, could never seem to internally agree with a lot of things he said and did, I just wanted to be his friend and by the time he had gotten a good job opportunity we went our separate ways. “RSDTyler” and the Real Social Dynamics Crew are constantly putting out free videos to help guys out and I’ve always loved that. I’ve bought different products, joined and left various Facebook groups, connected virtually to instructors of all kinds of knowledge bases, I went through a Vince Kelvin student phase, an Arash Dibazar student phase all because I was getting frustrated with my results. But mostly the important thing is I was having way more fun taking advice from RSD YouTube videos and then just going out in the field and making a fool of myself.