We are in the first week of 2018 and already people are failing at their resolutions, or are they? The way I see it is that resolutions are not decisions that fulfil themselves at the moment of choice. They are to be added to gradually and worked at until the achievement of each one.
The main obstacle, I gather, is NOT the actual resolution going unfulfilled. It’s the chance that by the time the third week of the year is up, we have almost forgotten the resolutions and their meaning/importance in our goal-driven self-improvement.
On Christmas Eve I was in A&E at the local hospital. I was having a mental breakdown and had been self-harming (which I’ve done since 2005). It was stupid because I was drunk, having a kind of manic episode and breaking down over some of the responsibilities expected of me at that time of year. Christmas can be stressful and New Year, and Birthdays, and so on. An area of focus I’ve had for at least a decade is my own mental well-being due to mental difficulties in my twenties. I’ve had a recent assessment that came back with results saying I had no signs of mental or cognitive impairment and that my intellectual abilities are healthy. I wasn’t going to write about a mental breakdown on my blog until I read this blog post and this blog post over at Bold & Determined.
The whole affair of the mental breakdown is a weird thing that I cannot properly remember. All I know is that it was like a massive constant panic attack infused with anxiety and passive-aggressive anger. Two of my old girlfriends came to support me and I was seen by professionals who adamantly told me I was not in need of being committed or in need of mental health treatment. They gave me some leaflets for Talking Therapies which I’ve followed up on and waiting for correspondence.
2017 was a strange and lonely year for me. Besides seeing immediate family and messaging with friends I spent most of my time on Facebook posting rubbish alternating between moods like a young woman plying for attention. Oe day I was posting something positive, the next I was having a mini breakdown in the hopes someone would reach out and fix me but then acting like they were insincere. My Facebook personality is a highly messed up thing, probably why I never get matches on apps like Tinder and probably why nobody wants to make an effort to message me. I always have to initiate contact first.
Until I read the Bold & Determined blog posts above I had planned on coasting another year doing as minimal as possible, hoping for attention on social media. Now I feel inspired to actually do something with this blog. My original aim with this blog was to write essays/articles of self-help origin based on my interests. The people hawking Pick Up oriented Self-Help products have had my interest for years because I’ve always thought it was a strange phenomenon that sociologically there are ways you can improve your attractiveness with the opposite sex through modelling certain and specific types of behaviour and communication.
My real life town community here in Britain are quite prude when it comes to anything of a Pick Up nature and so they should be. There are sisters, mothers, nieces, cousins and daughters living here and wary of sexual predators or toxic masculinity is a norm that has been around for longer than the media has shown. If I went out (even if I could) and slept with half the female population of a 30,000 population town I’m definite I would upset someone to the point of retaliation. Besides, it would simply be impractical and silly.
In 2004 I found the Seduction Community when I looked up ‘How To Be A Player’ discovering mASF and the BristolLair websites. I memorised the PUA Creed and tried a few tips and tactics like Mystery Method structure and Speed Seduction Languaging but I never made anything stick. In 2007 I met a beautiful, older and successful businesswoman in South East Asia and we had a short-term relationship which fizzled out due to differences in life goals. I was in love but I never used any pick up advice to end up in a relationship with her, in fact, I was in a bad mood when I first talked with her. I’ve not been in a relationship ever since, not been a success with women, been selfish and naive about life and basically been having therapy the whole time.
Fast forward to 2018 and I have new goals. In pick up they teach, innocently enough, that one has to have his life at least semi-figured out before he ‘attaches’ to a romantic interest. Nobody wants to go into a relationship where the other participant is ’emotionally leaning’ to the other for all of their inner issues. It is a drain on both parties and usually, the results are unwelcome for the relationship at hand. Everyone wants the perfect partner or at least someone who accepts themselves completely and is doing everything within their power to improve their life circumstances.
It’s common knowledge to most with an interest in the male dating advice culture that in the Mystery Method our life can be categorised into three areas of life: Health, Wealth, Love. These are areas which should not be neglected and should be worked towards continually improving, implementing new ideas and maintained. Usually, when a person finds difficulty in life there is usually an obstacle or issue in one of these three areas. As humans, we have two main drives (scientifically) for life purpose: Survival (that is to maintain and thrive in life safely and comfortably) AND Replication (to pass our genetics on to our offspring). These pieces of pick up knowledge are quite holistic and sound. So what can you do to improve these this year?
Embracing the year ahead now that we are in the first week is something I’ve struggled with since New Year’s Day. I’ve felt resistance to make any effort at attaining more in life, felt distracted and basically procrastinated everything important. The truth is things will stay the same if I don’t make the effort to put the energy and engagement into the areas of life that need improvement.
We all have an ideal.
Attuning to the great, seeing what others have and yearning for them ourselves, wanting, needing, fantasy, desire, greed, importance, popularity. Whatever it is that you want to attain you are no different from anyone else. We all have wants and needs. Some chase fantasies for a lifetime and some choose to settle with the basic needs (Buddhist Monks). Neither of these is a right or wrong way to live in our modern world and this is true if you are devoted to improvement. I’ve been telling myself I must be positive and sound minded since Christmas. Nothing is more important than my attentiveness to this affirmative belief. My ideal is to be a good force of nature in my own life. This year I want you to concentrate on your long-term happiness, your mental well being and your three areas of life. They say to treat others as you treat yourself so I will support anyone who is living by this way of approaching life, that is what I expect of myself and my immediate social circle. Happy New Year!!