I am a magnet for all the good that life has to offer.I give no power to limiting beliefs.I have everything I need to be happy right now.I am creating a wonderful future for myself right now.I am now in perfect harmony with the universal laws of attraction.I am the master of my own destiny.I attract what I talk about, so I only speak positive words.I can have, do, or be anything I choose.I easily attract all the abundance, love and joy that I want.I know that nothing happens without my having invited it.I know that size is nothing to the universe; therefore I dream big!I live my life according to the laws of the universe.Miracles happen in my life every day.My life is full of miracles.My dreams are coming true every day.My life is one miracle after another.My life is unfolding exactly as I have visualised.My positive energy draws positive circumstances and people into my life.My positive thoughts and beliefs manifest all of my dreams.My purpose is in perfect harmony with the laws of the universe.My request for a miracle is being answered right now.My subconscious mind attracts health, wealth, and happiness into my life.My thoughts draw towards me all that I need and desire.The power that created me is the same power I use to create my life.There is no limit to what I can manifest in my life.Whatever I conceive and believe, I will achieve.Tomorrow I will be where my thoughts go today.I can have, do, or be anything I choose.Success and achievements are natural outcomes for me.I am the example of success and triumph.Every action I undertake is a success.Everything I need to succeed lies within me.I always achieve all that I set out to do.I am a winner!!I am the architect of my success.I deserve to be successful.Through the universal law of attraction, I manifest great abundance in my life.I welcome financial freedom and ease now.I can feel my abundance growing daily.I trust in the universe to grow my abundance.I always have more than enough money.I know that financial well-being is my right.My financial situation is growing day by day.The universe provides everything I need.I know that more money is coming to me.I am grateful for the ability to manifest money.I am attaining and maintaining my ideal weight.My body is strong and healthy.I love myself.My body naturally sheds unwanted fat.My body is easily satisfied with a small amount of food.I have a strong urge to eat only health-giving and nutritious foods.I take good care of my health.I have perfect control of my weight.I am attracting people and information that will help me to live a healthy life.I release my being to find health and lovingly.I release my being to find its perfect eating plan, whatever that may be.I am in tune with how my body feels and what it needs.I enjoy perfect health.My heart is always open and I radiate love.I love myself and everybody else and in return everybody loves me.Everywhere I go, I find love.It is easy for me to express love and in return, it is easily expressed back to me.I clearly see myself in love with the man/woman of my dreams.I am attracting emotionally available partners to my loving and giving spirit.Long-lasting, loving relationships brighten my life.I rejoice in the love I encounter every day.I am safe in all of my relationships. I am always treated well.I am the man who has a powerful presence and can carry on intriguing conversations with women. My body posture exudes confidence and my nonverbal communication demonstrates that I am 100% aligned with the powerful person I am. I utilise a woman’s wants and needs to aid my seduction skills with women. I allow women to FEEL GOOD AROUND ME. The first few minutes are the most important. I project sexuality without saying anything about it. I communicate that I AM THE SELECTOR. I only tolerate ‘First-Class’ behaviour from women. I value myself highly. I allow women to PERFORM ACTS OF GENEROSITY TO ME. I deserve to have things done for me. I have MATURE BOUNDARY FUNCTION. I use impression management to serve my seduction. My inner state is key with women. It’s okay to be a man. I talk positively to myself. I find and learn from others who are ALREADY successful with women. My physical appearance is always improving. I quickly distinctively define my value and hers. Women love sex just as much if not more so than men. I create situations where the woman feels like she can have sex with me without consequences. SEX WITH NO CONSEQUENCES: That’s what women crave. I am subtle and discreet in my communications about sex. Women want good sex with me and want me to take the lead. Women have to earn my respect. Anything I do for her is conditional on her having earned it. I liberate women’s minds and beliefs about sex with me. I always define the outcomes I desire with women. I am different in an ATTRACTIVE WAY. I allow women to FEEL COMFORTABLE AROUND ME. I take pride in looking my best. Being with more and more women makes me stronger and stronger. I demonstrate to women that I AM SEX WORTHY AND HAVE GOOD INTENTIONS. I go to the types of places that attract the women I want. I learn new ways to attract women all the time. I focus on developing personality traits and characteristics that attract women. I am consistently and eagerly improving my taste in women. I am developing into an HIGH-VALUE ALPHA MALE. I am continually learning, practising, improving and refining my seduction skills with women. I feel AT EASE, IN CONTROL and ENERGISED AROUND WOMEN. My enemies are insecurity and neediness. I am focused on my wealth, my health and my relationships. I take pride in being funny, intelligent, creative, educated, classy, cultured, dominant, thoughtful, observant, unpredictable, enthusiastic, fun, happy, adventurous, aggressive, cocky, confident, attentive, indifferent, challenging, charming, charismatic, romantic, imaginative and assertive. I attract women instead of pursuing them. I avoid relationship type behaviours. I am cocky and funny in my communication. I am determined and focused on my seduction materials. I stay motivated on the task at hand. I am working on my character and integrity as a man. The present is all there is. A ‘no’ can be turned into a ‘yes’, a ‘no’ is only a ‘no’ at that time. I am persuasive and intelligent in the HERE AND NOW. I practise Speed Seduction at every opportunity. I make no excuses for my desire as a man. I make no excuses for myself. I move through the world without apology. I don’t get rattled by setbacks because I learn from my mistakes. It’s about self-respect. I know how to say ‘no’. I am a man she could never hope to control. I glance at what I might have to lose but focus on what I want to win. The meaning of the communication is the response it gets. It isn’t so much what I say to a woman but my tone of voice when I say it. I am an alpha male. I am dominant. I am always relaxed and calm. I am assertive and powerful. Others see me as powerful and self-assured. My confidence is rock solid. All women are naturally attracted to me. I can take the lead in any social situation. I am totally secure in myself. I speak with authority. I will transform into an alpha male. I am becoming more and more alpha. I am finding it easier to take the lead in social situations. My core personality is becoming more confident and assertive. Others are starting to notice my self-assured attitude. People will respect me. I will always speak my mind. Women will be naturally drawn to me. Women are starting to see me as a leader and decision maker. I will continually strengthen my alpha traits. Being an alpha male is just the way I am. Women are naturally attracted to my alpha characteristics. Confidence is my natural right. Being assertive and dominant are just who I am. I enjoy being the leader in social situations. I love being the alpha male. Others look up to me for my strength of character. I am highly respected. I make women feel safe and secure. My alpha maleness allows women to feel more feminine. I successfully overcome this current obstacle. This situation is resolving easily even as I speak. I have the power to handle success. Challenge is an opportunity for greater success! I recognise the opportunity in this seemingly difficult situation. I appreciate the way this condition helps me understand more clearly what I want. The universe has my back for my greatest success. When I get out of my own way, magic and miracles assist me with difficulties. I appreciate all the blessings in my life. I can choose to focus on the positive. Every breath brings me closer to my success. I am an ever-expanding, being of Power. I embody love, success and happiness now. I am in control of my own thinking I think only thoughts that create and fulfil the best in me My mind is constantly in tuned with the positive My mind is bright, cheerful and enthusiastic My thoughts are filled with good, positive thoughts and ideas I am calm, confident and self-assured I consciously choose what I think I think only thoughts that create and fulfil the best in me I always choose the thoughts that are most positive and beneficial to me All of my thoughts create healthiness within me My mind dwells only on thoughts that create harmony, balance and enthusiasm I am full of absolute assurance in the best possible outcome in everything I do I choose to look at the world in the bright, healthy light of optimism My time and efforts are valuable and I receive abundantly for what I do. Every day I value myself a little more. I deserve and draw to my love and respect. I value and care for myself. I draw to me only people who appreciate me. I love and appreciate myself. The more I value myself, the more others value me. I listen to and honour my needs. “I am in control of my own thinking.” “I think only thoughts that create and fulfil the best in me.” “My mind is constantly in tune with the positive.” “I am full of great thoughts and positive ideas.” “My thoughts are bright, cheerful and enthusiastic.” “I consciously choose what I think.” “I always choose thoughts that are most positive and beneficial to me.” “All of my thoughts create healthiness within me.” “I remember to think positively all day, every day.” I am healthy and happy. Wealth is pouring into my life. I am sailing on the river of wealth. I am getting wealthier each day. My body is healthy and functioning in a very good way. I have a lot of energy. I study and comprehend fast. My mind is calm. I am calm and relaxed in every situation. My thoughts are under my control. I radiate love and happiness. I am surrounded by love. I have the perfect job for me. I am living in the house of my dreams. I have good and loving relations with my FAMILY I have a wonderful and satisfying job. I have the means to travel abroad, whenever I want to. I am successful in whatever I do. Everything is getting better every day. Being with me is the best possible choice for any woman. Women love men and especially love me. I love life! I am God. I am Perfect. This is my universe! I am fearless, courageous and bold!!! I read incredibly fast! Women love sex and want sex from me. My intelligence, creativity and potential are infinite! Women love to be hit on even if they pretend otherwise. I am completely focused, organised and use my time with the utmost efficiency. Women are nurtures and pleaser’s who want to nurture and please me. I am a self-assured, confident, sexual and dominant male. Every day in every way I am better and better!!! I have complete control over my life, mind and psychological state of being. I am the greatest genius this world has ever seen. I heal instantly! I am successful, confident and achieve my goals. I exude confidence, sex, power and self-esteem. I can be, do and have anything I want to in this world, my possibilities are endless!!! I love myself! I am complete, fulfilled and completely happy!!! I am growing more beautiful and luminous day by day. People love me! I make friends easily. I read and meditate every day. I access all the knowledge in the universe. I am completely irresistible to women! Regardless of how she is reacting to me, she is getting aroused. I see the underlying truth in all things. I am an adventurer! I travel the world! Regardless of how she is reacting to me, I am the prize she is trying to win over! I am a multi-millionaire and master seducer! I love what I do and am richly rewarded, creatively and financially. I have a perfect photographic memory! I recall everything easily. Since she wants to sleep with me, the power is in my court to decide whether she lives up to my standards and expectations. I get to decide if we get to sleep together. I create my own reality! Today I love my body fully, deeply and joyfully. Today I open my mind to the endless opportunities surrounding me. Prosperity surrounds me, prosperity fills me, prosperity flows to me and through me. I have sex with super hot, confident, loving, caring and intelligent women with genius IQ’s all the time! I think positively every day, all the time. I attract amazing people. My imagination and power affirmations are now creating the reality I desire. My body is now trained to burn fat and build muscle day by day. I have a six pack of abdominal muscles. Let these commands be fulfilled!!! I am filled with the light of love, peace, happiness, power, success and joy every day, all the time. I am aggressive, direct and powerful with the women I desire. I radiate a confidence, self-control and charm that women find irresistibly attractive. My mind is focused on what I desire and I go for it congruently and powerfully. I take immediate advantage of my opportunities with women. I swiftly establish incredible rapport, gather the information I need, then close with aggression, power and finesse. I radiate a natural, easy self-acceptance that women find irresistibly attractive. I am mastering the responses, attitudes, behaviours, insights and timing that bring me irresistible power with the women I desire. I am now approaching women that I am attracted to. I am able to pick up and attract any women I desire. I am a strong, powerful, aggressive, dominant, alpha male, leader and conqueror!!! I am charming, interesting and fascinating!!! I have a perfectly sculptured muscle ripped body. I am super hot and sexy, all women want me! Abundance is my natural state of being! Money comes to me easily and continuously from multiple sources! My IQ and intelligence increase daily rapidly!!! I have clear beautiful skin! I have lucid dreams and recall all my dreams with complete clarity! All things are now working together for good in my life. I am now attuned to my higher purpose in life. I rule the world! I am brilliant and perfect in every possible way! I succeed in everything I do! I have sex with one thousand super hot women! I am now enjoying everything I do and feel happy just being alive. Sex with super hot women comes to me easily and effortlessly. The light within me creates miracles in my life here and now. All things are now working together for good in my life. I am now attuned to my higher purpose in life. I have the infinite creative power of God within me. My higher self is guiding me in everything that I do. God lives within me and manifests in the world through me. The light of God surrounds me, the love of God enfolds me, the power of God flows through me. Wherever I am, God is, and all is well! I ascend spiritually rapidly every day all the time! I am a Natural, Ladies Man and Player! Everywhere I go women want to fuck me! I have sex with supermodels daily. Supermodels have an incredible desire to fuck me wherever I go! I attract whatever I desire. I am the most desirable man in the world. I am God’s gift to women. I attract beautiful women on a deeply subconscious level. Beautiful women are extremely persistent with me for sex. What I believe is the reality. Why am I so successful in life? Because I am determined. Because I learn quickly and I learn well. Because I am very smart. Because I make people feel good when they are around me. Why am I such a good student? Because I am very smart. Because I am an effective learner. Because I have a very strong memory. Because I enjoy learning new things and exploring possibilities to find solutions. Why are all beautiful women so attracted to me? Because I am confident. Because I am sexy. Because I understand them and make them feel good. Because I am funny. Because I am a man. I easily ask for her number. I naturally ask for her number. Girls love giving me their numbers. I naturally collect plenty of numbers from attractive girls. Girls often give me their numbers without me even asking. I love asking girls for their numbers. Girls light up with joy when I ask for their numbers. I naturally touch girls. Girls love being touched by me. I am always in physical contact with hot girls. Girls get really horny when I touch them. Girls want me to touch them. Girls long for my physical contact. I am an alpha male. I am dominant. I am always relaxed and calm. I am assertive and powerful. Others see me as powerful and self-assured. My confidence is rock solid. All women are naturally attracted to me. I can take the lead in any social situation. I am totally secure in myself. I speak with authority. I will transform into an alpha male. I am becoming more and more alpha. I am finding it easier to take the lead in social situations. My core personality is becoming more confident and assertive. Others are starting to notice my self-assured attitude. People will respect me. I will always speak my mind. Women will be naturally drawn to me. Women are starting to see me as a leader and decision maker. I will continually strengthen my alpha traits. Being an alpha male is just the way I am. Women are naturally attracted to my alpha characteristics. Confidence is my natural right. Being assertive and dominant are just who I am. I enjoy being the leader in social situations. I love being the alpha male. Others look up to me for my strength of character. I am highly respected. I make women feel safe and secure. My alpha maleness allows women to feel more feminine. I am becoming comfortable and confident. I am attaining super high self-esteem. I am becoming an alpha male. I am enjoying making light conversations with girls. I am becoming the dream lover of every woman. I am beginning to think optimistically. I am beginning to feel secure in myself. I release the need to care what women think. I am beginning to move through life with dignity and style. Women approach me and I am ready for them. I am pleased with myself. I feel relaxed, calm and in control. I move my hands and head slowly because I am alpha. I relax my body and spread out. I am beginning to feel highly sexual with women. I love myself. I am becoming a God in bed. I am becoming an amazing, ultra confident guy. My life is fun. I feel comfortable talking with other people. I take up space wherever I am because I radiate confidence. I feel calm when I enter other people’s personal space. I touch people when I talk with them. I am becoming a natural leader. My facial muscles are relaxed. I have high standards so I am a challenge for girls. I am becoming extremely interesting. I am unpredictable. I am becoming like a mythological God. I am becoming good-looking. I am becoming an attractive man. I am building trust with anyone I talk to. I am becoming tough and powerful like a champion boxer. I am becoming so incredibly attractive and skilled in bed that women become dripping wet around me! With women, I persist towards either sex or rejection. I enjoy rejection because it means I went for it. I am becoming adventurous. I release the need for other people’s approval. I am a winner. I am assertive. When it comes to sex, I am a devilish bad boy. I am becoming a good catch for any woman. I am becoming the dream lover for every woman. I focus on positive and useful emotions. I am becoming fun and interesting. I am becoming sexual. I am becoming completely satisfied and totally relaxed. Of course, women want me, but it’s no big deal either way. I have ABUNDANCE of women in my life!! There is no downside.I’m indifferent to the outcome. I’m the catch, and time with me is rare and valuable. She’s getting the better end of the deal. She wants me, but I’m going to tease her to see how much. She’s going to have to prove herself above-average, even though I suspect that she is above-average. I am a leader.I am interesting.I am a success in all that I do.I can attract any woman I want.I know my purpose.I am confident in who I am.I am cool, calm, and collected.I am charismatic.My world and my life are attractive and interesting.People meet me and want to know me.I am interested in other people.I meet fun, positive people.I am the Trophy, She wants me, She needs me to want her, She has to prove that she is worth it, Think fun, Not outcome! I am the Trophy mentality.I have it on the highest authority that I am handsome from every angle.Women love meeting new guys and go out to hook up. There is no such thing as failure, only feedback. It’s always on! Approaches are either fun or boring and I decide. You never know what a woman is like until you approach her. don’t chase. I use what THEY give me. I prepare myself for what I want and desire. I understand and utilise ALL my knowledge, insight and skills. I do what works to my benefit and avoid what works to my harm. I use my Will. The language doesn’t create a thing; it merely brings to the surface the processes, fantasies, emotions and drives that are already bubbling beneath the surface. My aim is to AWAKEN, not INSTALL. What is already vibrating with desire in them BEFORE they see me in resonance to my energy and their own internal drives, processes and fantasies, looping unconsciously and occasionally bubbling up spontaneously? Once awakened, externalise to the symbol, gesture, physical object, voice, link to me, and amplify ONLY AS NEEDED. (Avoid overkill and popping heads to entertain me/get off on the power). My moment of power is NOW. NOW is my moment of opportunity. The spark inside of me – who I am – is already inherently attractive to any woman who is capable of getting/receiving it. I am mastering the responses, attitudes, beliefs, behaviours, insights, timing, and practices that are bringing me wonderful, sexual, physical, and emotional, total satisfaction and pleasure with the most desirable women who delight and please me in every way.I am aggressive, direct and powerful with the women I desire, I radiate a confidence, self-control and charm that women find irresistibly attractive.My mind is focused on what I desire, go for what I want congruently and powerfully.I never know what physical type a woman will go for so I always go for it congruently and powerfully. I take immediate advantage of my opportunities with women, I swiftly establish incredible rapport, gather the information that I need then close with aggression, power and finesse. I radiate a natural, easy self-acceptance that women find irresistibly attractive. I safeguard my morale and self-esteem at all times, I swiftly size up a woman’s potential and eliminate those who are wasting my time. I am mastering the responses, attitudes, behaviours, insights and timing that are bringing me irresistible power with the women I desire. I’m comfortable in my skin. I’m a strong confident communicator. I’m in control of my emotional self. Outside events don’t destabilise me. I’m not needy. I keep my power for me. I have no sexual hang-ups. I’m comfortable with my own views. I’m comfortable around women. I can hold back when I choose and delay gratification. I don’t tolerate disrespect to myself, time, or property. I’m a catch and any women that’s with me is fortunate enough to have my attention. I’m not impressed by outward symbols or money status. I may be smitten by a woman, but I don’t tell her early on and I don’t let it slip indirectly. I don’t let women use looks and sexual power to take advantage; no special privileges. I’m unselfconscious and could care less what others think. I put myself and my life first. I deserve to have permission and can hold exceptional women. I’m indifferent to the outcome of all situations. I understand the culture; I get it. I can deal with any test a woman throws at me; in fact, it’s usually kinda cute. I live in my reality and you’re a guest. I’m a cause in the world, not an effect. I make things happen. I could but I won’t. 1. We as players believe that women are less if not equal to men, and since no men are perfect, no women are perfect either. 2. We as players believe that any man can have any women he desires. 3. We as players believe confidence is key, and that it pieces our game together, and without it, we are no different than an AFC. 4. We as players are not changing ourselves in order to please women, but rather presenting ourselves in the best manner we can. 5. We as players will follow the path to learning and understand the teachings of the game, and we are all students of the game. In conclusion, we understand that knowledge equals power, and power comes with responsibilities, so therefore we should open ourselves to listening and observing to the teachings. 6. We as players are unique, and should not in any way change that. 7. We as players understand that we should dress to impress, and peacock in any way and every way we can. We should therefore always have good hygiene and look fresh at all times. 8. We as players have come to the unfortunate conclusion that nice guys finish last. It is the sad truth that leads us all here. 9. We as players should always show our dominate alpha side and never go back to our AFC ways. But also we should never be or act like a jerk. 10. We as players believe that we are gifts to women, and any women are lucky to even be in our presence because we are the prize. 11. We as players should always aim high, and be ambitious in everything we do. 12. We as players understand that rejection is part of the game, and because of that we should not fear it, but rather embrace it as an opportunity to learn. 13. We as players should always have a positive attitude. 14. We also come to a conclusion that knowledge does equal power, but without experience, knowledge is useless. 15. Always remember bros over hoes. End of story, no exceptions.16. We should not put down an AFC, or cockblock one in any way, instead, we should try to provide guidance in hopes of breaking his misguided ways. I make no excuses for my desires as a man. I move through this world without apology. I like to satisfy women. I don’t need any particular woman, I am not needy. Women are abundant. I do not supplicate to women because they find it unattractive. Rejection is a good thing. The more I get rejected, the more I will get laid. I learn something every time. Every rejection becomes a brick in my palace. I do not dwell in the past. The past can not be relived, good or bad. I have a wide range of options in how I choose to react to other people. The choice is mine.
There are thousands of affirmations scattered around the net and I’ve got to say they work if you have the right intentions and place a little time and effort into them, you don’t have to go full on self-help junkie reading them aloud in front of the mirror every morning either. As long as you read them, memorise new ones every now and then and keep updating your catalogue and review them once in a while, the whole point being that it sets your focus on the right things and right attitudes.RSDNATION has a bunch of useful affirmations I’ve skimmed through, David DeAngelo has some affirmations floating around on the net. Ross Jeffries uses affirmations by ‘terraforming the psyche’ by using the I/You switch and R.A.B.B.I.T.P. formula which is really helpful and I should revise at some point if they’re still on his blog. ManiacHigh also had a strange and interesting routine for practising affirmations which engaged whole brain thinking that I practised for a while until it became too weird for the people around me. Hypnotica teaches writing out affirmations on a few sheets of paper and practising them first thing in the morning, before one of his hypnotic inductions on the Collection Of Confidence course and saying them at night before sleep. Napoleon Hill’s Think And Grow Rich talks about a Definite Major Purpose, practising affirmations out loud in front of the mirror everyday. Noah ST. John teaches a technique called Afformations in his book about turning affirmations into questions rationalising that the subconscious will automatically answer them. Emile Coue wrote about The Power Of Autosuggestion I believe which was the book that popularised suggestion, autosuggestion and affirmations. The Holy Bible and other Religions talk about planting seeds of faith and how words shape our world. Hypnosis is based on this reality.I had previously used the PUA Creed found on BristolLair:I make no excuses for my desires as a man.I move through the world without apology.I like to satisfy women.I don’t need any particular woman.I’m not needy.Women are abundant.I do not supplicate to women because they find it unattractive.Rejection is a good thing. The more I get rejected the more I will get laid.I learn something every time. Every rejection becomes a brick in my palace.I do not dwell in the past. The past cannot be relived good or bad.I have a wide range of options in how I choose to react to other people.The choice is mine.
I thought I’d take the time to do a personal inventory of my personality and what I change I’d like to make in regards to my other post about personality development. Most of the time people don’t really give me much attention when it comes to the personality, most people don’t bring up my personality much and therefore I’m unaware of most issues unless I’ve been drinking and my friends just tell me I’ve been weird, my parents just bollock the crap out of me and generally I just don’t benefit from drinking alcohol because other people have issues with me if I do even though it’s okay for them to do the exact same (get drunk and be weird) and then complain the day after.
So in terms of Personality from a personal inventory what do I got?
- Forward, straight and frank.
- Too honest (so I’ve been told).
- Too friendly.
- Too self-involved.
To Be Improved:
- Better listening skills.
How I can improve them:
- To be more discreet I should practice talking less and sharing less information than is actually needed, I always aimed to always have something to talk about and this has lead to talking too much.
- To be more selective I should practise screening girls and should practise taking things slower instead of latching onto small successes.
- Better listening skills will arise through practice of discretion.
I hate this term because so many people claim they have confidence and they really don’t. I abandoned the idea of trying to be confident years ago because I found it’s not useful at all. The term is obviously a psychological term and it grew huge amounts of attention at the turn of the millennium and early noughties.The word itself means:confidenceˈkɒnfɪd(ə)ns/noun1 1.
the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.”we had every confidence in the staff”2 synonyms:3 trust, belief, faith, credence, conviction; More 4
5 67 2.
the telling of private matters or secrets with mutual trust.”someone with whom you may raise your suspicions in confidence“It’s about having credibility and acting from faith in ones abilities to achieve. There are people who claim to have confidence though when in reality they have hubris and are acting stupid. I wouldn’t try to save someone from drowning because I don’t think I could, to say I have confidence in doing that would be having bravado not confidence and I would probably get us both drowned.Confidence is important when it comes to meeting women because it gives one the right mindset to get ahead of interactions in a manner that is perceived as attractive. However, a lot of dating literature is saturated with the lazy and simple tip of “Be confident”. Confidence and competent are two different things but they are usually mistaken for each other too. Confidence being important is like saying you have to know what you are doing before you do it because you believe in your capability. But the reality is that if you think you have confidence then you probably do and if you think you don’t you’re probably right too. Confidence would then be better termed as “having the choice to do something based on decision”. If you say you are confident, are you really confident? Does confidence get based of the words you use?I have confidence knowing that thinking about confidence extensively is utterly useless. I tend to look at the self-help self-esteem movement and begin to think that this whole “confidence” movement was a replicated pop psychological movement designed by the dating industry to allow people to feel like they could claim “confidence” and would have some trait that others find attractive just by claiming they are “confident”. Self-esteem has a huge amount of study behind it too but I believe it encompasses much more useful concepts than someone who claims to be confident.Anyway besides my rant on the topic, it does exist. Confidence is not something you simply state at the beginning of an interaction and it is more of a process than anything else. Confidence occurs when one has faith to act a certain specified way that is congruent and coherent with the situation. You display confidence by showing key sexual market value indicators as well as drawing upon previous experience in order to be competent at the task at hand. In terms of dating, this is the equivalent of being able to approach, being able to hold eye contact, being able to make small talk, holding a conversation, escalating physically, closing, etc.When guys say they are attracted to a beautiful girl it is usually because she is beautiful. Whenever women say they are attracted to men they usually say it’s because of confidence, he was persuasive, he was competent, it’s rarely because he was “beautiful”. Ask any girl what the number one quality they look for in a man and they will say more times than not “confidence”. I think maybe it’s because of it being pop psychology and because dating industry made a big fuss about confidence. It’s true that those with confidence feel better able to articulate themselves and perform well in their pursuits so we can’t deny that confidence doesn’t exist.So how do you build confidence while simultaneously building your personality development? You do things that expand your comfort zone, you do things that improve your ability to act appropriately in different situations, you become a student of the world, you live your life and you learn in the process. There will definitely be setbacks, there will be joy and pain, all of this edifies to the point of competent confidence. And women find confidence attractive.So how do you gain confidence if you don’t already have confidence? How do you display confidence? How do you feel confident in yourself and your abilities?Some distinguishing features of confidence are mostly conveyed through strong body language and key indicators of non verbal capability. Stop slouching, don’t break eye contact right away, don’t be coy, don’t feel at the disposal of others, don’t fidget, don’t discriminate against yourself, don’t be stifled, don’t be stuck in your head, be in the moment, be aware of your environment and the people you are with, live in the moment, communicate effectively and loud enough for people to hear, that kind of basic pick up stuff is all about confidence signalling. There is already much written on the topic so this wraps up my personal view on confidence.
Beneath the false misconceptions of pick up artistry or game being detestable and destructive to women, it is in most regards all about personality development. It originated from what I know, the community, from guys who were unsuccessful, depressed, forgotten types who wanted to actually learn how to improve themselves and improve their romantic life. A lot of pick up artist theology is driven from and interlinked with roots in the self-development/self-help fields of personality development, pop psychology, behaviouralism, sociology and communication studies.Without sounding like I’m selling it I’m simply attempting to establish my understanding of the community in a way that protects its true motivations to help guys succeed in their dating lives and improve themselves. Personally, I’ve been in a deep depression for years, always trying to obey Mum and Dad, always doing what I thought was considerate and always pleasing others for the sake of cooperation but none of that helped me to be a better person. I know my family always had the best intentions for me to be a likeable guy, who got on with everyone, was graceful in defeat and was human above all else. The thing is I’m getting older and lonelier as the years get on. This places me in a position of vulnerability to the exploitation of dominant savvy men and predatory women which means I have to keep my family pleased but also succeed in my own pursuits and fulfil my desires in a way that doesn’t offend my loved ones. Being rebellious against my parents demands as I was growing through my adulthood and having a testy mother which didn’t help left me victim to the female imperative and allowed women to walk all over me which has been evident in my life for the past fifteen years. Being that I’m actually biracial in a very patriotic and bullying tendency country (Great Britain) I was victim of racism from a young age but less so now that I’m older. Of course, I’m sure that people keep discreet about their racial tendencies more these days than they used to due to possible consequences.I’ve had a defeatist attitude most of my adult life because of childhood experiences of growing up in a hateful reality and being picked on for circumstances I had no opportunity to change. I have not felt victimised of it because I am a victim of it and stating that it doesn’t exist is ridiculous as saying the oceans don’t have pollution in them. This is one part of my personality I tend to showcase from time to time because it can be a general talking point and screening device when it comes to meeting new people. I don’t have a problem with people over superficial details so why should they start nit picking problems with me simply based on my entire physical being? It never made sense and still makes no sense to me. Your personality is just as important as your looks when it comes to dating because if you are not after just a simple one time fling then you need to have more to you than meets the eye so to speak.In the quest to improve your personality you need to figure out what you like in other people’ personality. Do you like a dull, boring and dim witted girl to date? Or do you like a funny, hyperactive, crazed girl? Probably neither if your reading this blog. The fact is it’s been said many times that to be interesting you have to be interested. Attraction in men and women differs slightly in that women find status and personality features attractive whereas men tend to go for the most sexually desirable ‘looking’ woman. This discernment is not my own and is common knowledge in the community. Do looks matter? In my experience they do but only to a degree, what’s most desired in a man is his social etiquette, social mannerisms, personability, appearance, and communication skills. Most women are content with a man who fits a certain role he is portraying in the public setting if it is congruent with him. So how do you be congruent? You gain experience and you mold your personality to attract the girls that you find attractive. You don’t go to clubs and become the club superstar if you don’t enjoy the company of club skanks. You don’t try to pick up women who are interested in politics if you aren’t politically inclined. You are living life to become a wholesome person so you live experiences that will shape you as a person. You don’t always know what your personality will be like five years from now so figure out your own preferences first. By figuring out your preferences you are better able to find what moves you and find what you dislike. In this process your personality becomes more evident, you become more transparent, more honest, more credible, and like attracts like.Pick up is a skill that can be learned but the Inner Game Of setting boundaries for yourself and others and through this evolution of ideology creates a personality style for you and allows you to figure out what women you find attractive and which ones to avoid. This is the purpose of pick up, the purpose of personality development. What is desired in a woman is usually what you think will improve your life, if it isn’t then it should be. The same is true for women, they will find attractive what they think will improve their life. Women respond and are attracted to social value in the context of life fulfilment and development. This is why personality development and pick up is important.